


The truth is out there

by AmandaBecker



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen
Genre: Abduction, Aliens, Alternate Universe, F/M, Falling In Love, Fantasy, Friendship, Inspired by The X-Files, Love, Mystery, Parallel Universes, Sanditon, Sanditon meets x-files, Science Fiction, Sidlotte - Freeform, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:29:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 37,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28797648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmandaBecker/pseuds/AmandaBecker
Summary: Charlotte Heywood is a young agent who is sent to Sanditon to assist the disgraced Agent Sidney Parker.Is it possible that this grumpy man, who doesn't really trust anyone, and the headstrong lovely young woman, who has to prove herself twice because she is a woman, get to trust each other and find some kind of partnership?The truth is out there.
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood & Sidney Parker, Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker
Comments: 343
Kudos: 197





	1. The offer

**Author's Note:**

> I dedicate this story to Purple, Sanditon_hk and JazzyOz. 
> 
> Because the idea for this story came during a funny conversation on Twitter with the topic "Can't Tom be abducted by aliens and Eliza too?" and about the similarities of the strong, intelligent young women who have to survive in a man's world and the two men who had a terrible experience in the past that still affects them today. 
> 
> So I tried to mix and merge my most beloved series of all time: the X-files and Sanditon. Of course I don't own any rights.
> 
> There will be a few iconic quotes and situations from both series.

Her heels clacked on the marble floor as she walked with energetic steps to the office of the Chief of Section. The steps were supposed to testify to her self-confidence, although she was completely unsettled inside. The young woman had never been in this part of the bureau before and didn't know why she had been ordered here. After all, she hadn't been guilty of anything so far. How could she, since she spent most of her time sitting behind a desk and working for her male colleague, like an assistant and not a full-fledged agent with a degree in medicine? Charlotte Heywood, top of her year, demoted to fetching coffee and tea for her increasingly lazy colleague and archiving his old files. Maybe it was because she was young, or a woman. Or both. But still, she had believed that all the hard work would pay off somehow. It's not like the drill and training to become an FCI agent had been a piece of cake. Well, except for the shooting, which was probably because she had been hunting with her father on the farm since she was six years old.

Lately, she often had doubts about whether she had made the right decision to join the ‘Office of Federal Criminal Investigations’ instead of practising medicine. Her parents would have preferred to see her work in their hometown hospital, where it was almost common that women also worked there, rather than in this dangerous type of work. To know, that when it would came down to it, she would have to pull out her gun and put herself in danger. But Charlotte had always believed she could make more of a difference that way, to chase criminals. As a woman in a men’s world! Besides that she was here in London’s Headquarter only in danger of suffocating from the many files her college shoved at her to work through or of the strict dress code that the bureau demanded. She believed that it served more to prevent the women from running or even more… breathing, than to give the impression of serious work. The ID card alone, which identified her as a special agent, was supposed to do that. What she would give to wear trousers!

But now she was standing in front of the Chief of Section’s door, on which his name, Robert Plant was written in dominant red letters. She took another deep breath to collect herself and knocked.

"Come in." A strong voice immediately called, and she entered.

Only men again, she thought, groaning inwardly as she entered and greeted the three men in the room with a nod of her head. Within seconds she had registered and catalogued them in her brain.

A white-haired old man sat in the corner of the room behind the door, next to a filing cabinet, as if trying to hide behind it. His piercing blue eyes seemed cold, although his mouth was twisted into a knowing smile. She knew him by sight, his nickname was 'The Almighty' and was only whispered to each other behind closed doors, just out of fear. People preferred to stay invisible around him. He had this authoritarian air that made everyone uneasy. There was even a rumour that if he walked past someone and even gave them a look, it was as if they had been cast under a death spell, so cold were his eyes. Charlotte herself could not recognise anything about his eyes other than that they were light blue, covered with a veil from old age and surrounded by countless wrinkles. 

She stored him in her brain with the little information she had picked up under the initials of his nickname 'TA': old, mysterious, probably powerful man, because only the most powerful had no names. 

He didn't scare her, but somehow he made her feel cold, which was probably only because he didn't have a name. Which of course was complete nonsense everyone had a name, and as soon as she would knew it, the man would probably only be half as scary. But it was strange that he was also in the room. What was so important that he had to be present when she spoke to her boss, or rather bosses? 

She had never dealt with her Section Chief, Robert Plant or the Vice Chief of the FCI, Berry Olson, or attracted their attention in any way. Until now.

"Miss Heywood, please have a seat." The Section Chief said from behind his desk, pointing to the chair in front of him. 

Inwardly Charlotte rolled her eyes at the reduction, inside the bureau she was Agent Heywood, not Miss! But she did as she was told and waited with a neutral expression to see what the old men wanted from her, registering in the same moment the nervousness by one look in the red face of Robert Plant. Sweat on the broad forehead, restless eyes and a light trembling of the hands and she wondered if it had to do with TA sitting in the back of the room. The whole body of the man in front of her looked swollen, as if he was consuming a very unhealthy diet, beneath the patchy redness of his cheeks was the grey skin of a smoker who had spent little time in the fresh air. All this she also filed in the folder in her head, just like the side note 'visibly scared of TA'. 

He read her CV off a paper and asked a few things about her grades at university and why she had chosen the FCI two years ago.

"You must be wondering why you are here." The vice chief of the FCI, Berry Olson interrupted her speech and Charlotte took a deep breath for this further impertinence, but nodded mutely. Maybe he also wanted to cut the banter and get down to business.

"It's about a relocation." 

The section chief admitted and Charlotte's heart did a little double beat, because it had to be of enormous importance if she had to talk to Robert Plant and Berry Olson regarding a new job! She relaxed a little when the latter looked at her kindly, he seemed friendlier than the other gentlemen in this room and did not seem as averse to the idea of promoting a female agent as most of the gentlemen in this institution. Nevertheless, she was on her guard, one could never know what these apparently inconspicuous men were up to. Or men in general.

"Are you familiar with an agent named Sidney Parker?" He asked after a little pause.  
"Yes, I am." She admitted and was a little surprised at Robert Plant's following, rather too forceful question.  
"How so?"  
"By reputation. He's an Oxford-educated psychologist who wrote a monograph on serial killers and the occult. Generally thought of as the best analyst in the violent crimes section."

The gentlemen looked at her as if they wanted to hear more and she felt the eyes of TA, the old guy in the corner, boring into her back. Reluctantly she admitted having heard something more about him.

"He had a nickname at the academy." She looked from one to another and continued with a bitter taste in her mouth, she felt as if she was somehow betraying the agent she did not know, by telling the well-known nickname. 

"Spooky Parker."

She looked at the men questioningly, it couldn't be that she was here to spill gossip about one of her colleagues, right?

"What else I can tell you about Agent Parker is that he has developed a certain devotion to a project outside the office mainstream. Are you familiar with the so-called Sanditon-Files?" 

The section chief asked and Charlotte saw his eyes move back to the old man behind her.

"I believe they have to do with unsolved cases and unexplained phenomena."  
"More or less." Puffed Robert Plant with a slightly annoyed tone in his voice, "Agent Parker is convinced that Sanditon is a magical place," he laughed sarcastically, "because he thinks a lot of strange things happen there."  
He was now looking at Olson and than back to this old man behind Charlotte as he continued to tell her about a few cases of unexplained deaths, supposedly abductions and strange observations by the inhabitants.  
"The reason you are here, Agent Heywood is," the Vice Chief said and her gaze slid to him without her attention to the other dropped. "We would like you to assist Agent Parker with these work, down in Sanditon. You will be writing reports on your activities, along with your observations on the effectiveness of the work."  
"Do I understand this correctly," again she looked from one to the other "you want me to debunk the Sanditon project, Sir?" 

In a far more authoritarian voice, Robert Plant returned. 

"Agent Heywood! We trust you will do the right scientific analysis and send these reports directly to Vice Chief of the FCI, Berry Olson."

Charlotte looked at Berry Olson, who was still smiling nicely, but under her gaze took off his glasses and cleaned them with his handkerchief, although she was sure there was no sudden stain on them. So she noticed he was also nervous… interesting.

"We expect," he said as he put his glasses back on, "that you will arrange your move to Sanditon and contact Agent Parker as soon as possible."

That tone in his voice allowed neither contradiction nor questioning.

"Of course, Sir." Still, Charlotte wondered what this was all about, as the men at the table stood up, she rose as well.

"Since we want you to start work immediately, we would suggest that you take special leave and prepare for your move. So you can be there by next week."

"Of course." Charlotte nodded and turned to look into the corner to at least nod goodbye to the silent Mr Almighty. 

But strangely he had gone without the softest sound.


	2. well met

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte has arrived in Sanditon and is confronted with her colleague, his strange views and her first real case. Sidney is on his guard and is convinced not to trust this 'girl'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fans of the x-files probably remember the similarity to some lines from the series, but I love the first encounter between Scully & Mulder so much and just had to put it in.

After Charlotte had moved into her accommodation, a room in the so-called terraces, she stood for a while on the small balcony leading off from the breakfast room and enjoyed the view. She loved the sea, even though she had only known it from short day trips, and was delighted to be able to live in such a place for some time.

The housekeeper at her lodgings, Mrs Griffith, had praised the advantages of living by the sea and the healing air, until Charlotte had told her that she had not come here for health reasons, but to work. Mrs Griffith had wrinkled her nose at this and then lectured that it was not suitable for a young lady to work.

"But you work too."

Charlotte had explained to her with a smile and the older woman only had shaken her head. She argued that it made a big difference to rent rooms to young ladies than to travel alone and do dangerous work side by side with men, whereby men alone already were dangerous. Charlotte had assured her that she could defend herself. She was glad that the FCI paid enough for her accommodation that she had to live in one of the adjoining buildings and not right next door to Mrs Griffith in the main house. That way she could retire and not be forced to listen to these old-fashioned views. It was time for a change. Not only in the minds of most men, but also of many women.

It was an interesting coincidence that Trafalgar House, the FCI field office here in Sanditon,  
was also the residence of the Parker family. Mrs Mary Parker was the wife of the town's architect Tom Parker, brother of her colleague, who disappeared almost ten years ago. She also worked as a secretary for her brother-in-law and now also for Charlotte. She was a nice warm-hearted woman, with sad eyes and worried expression on her face as she showed her around. There was an office, with the town's model, which was probably rarely used since Tom Parker's disappearance, but nevertheless aired and dusted every day. 

The office of Sidney Parker was in the basement and as soon as she could convince Mary, Charlotte went down to see him. She knocked on the door and after he called her in, she entered. He was sitting at a desk facing away from her, reading some papers.

"Agent Parker, I'm Charlotte Heywood."  
"Ah, I thought you were the new maid." He said as he turned to her and gave her a penetrating look.

Charlotte inwardly had to roll her eyes again and stuck out her chin and a small wrinkle appeared between her eyebrows. Surely he could do better than that, and he did. He stood up and tilted his head forward, an implied bow without taking his eyes from hers, which she found quite charming. For her male colleagues in London, who did not take her seriously enough to recognise her as an equal, had immediately stopped the typical customs towards a lady as soon as she had been introduced as an agent for the first time. 

"What did you do to make them demote you to work with me?" He said in an annoyed tone as he pointed to another chair and sat back down on his.

"Nothing, and to be honest, I'm looking forward to work with you," she smiled honestly, because it was true. She ignored the chair and walked further into the room, looking at the drawings of strange but somehow familiar patterns pinned to the wall.  
"I've heard a lot about you."

"Oh really?" He asked with a sarcastic tone, following her gaze.  
"I was more under the impression they sent you here to spy on me."

Even though this could not really be denied, Charlotte did not want to go into it, stretched her back and answered in an authoritarian tone.

"If you doubt my qualifications, I have something for you." She pulled the folder with her curriculum vitae out of her bag and handed it to him, but he waved it off.

"You are a trained physician, graduated from the academy at the top of your class and wrote a Philosophical treatise on Heraclitus."

"Have you read it?" Charlotte asked pleasantly surprised that he already had so much information about her, even though she herself had only found out about her transfer five days ago.

"I did. I liked it, even though philosophy doesn't really come into play in my work here."

There was a small pause in which their gazes locked briefly before Charlotte turned away from him with a somewhat strange feeling of pleasant discomfort and continued to look at the sketches on the wall with interest.

"Do you believe in the existence of extra-terrestrial life?" Her colleague asked, watching the movements in her face.

Of course she had heard that Sidney Parker was convinced that extra-terrestrials had abducted his brother ten years ago. Apparently, no amount of investigation and research had provided a more plausible explanation. According to Mary, who had also shortly mentioned her husband's disappearance, there was no evidence of a crime, not even a pretended one, or the possibility that he had fled with another woman.

"Logically, no. How would they travel through the galaxy? With a carriage a million times faster than the one we know? Or horses?" She smiled shaking her head. "Horses with wings… like Pegasus?"

"Conventional wisdom." He shrugged as if they were talking about the weather.  
"Another young lady died yesterday in Old Town under mysterious circumstances. It was the fourth from the school for young ladies."

A cold shiver ran through Charlotte and she looked at him seriously. 

"If science and conventions can't provide answers, shouldn't we turn to the paranormal?" He asked with a slight smile and handed her a paper.

After reading the local officer's report on the three previous deaths, Charlotte calmly tried to put her explanation into words. 

"The young ladies obviously died of something. If it was a natural death, perhaps they were not properly examined and if they were murdered, perhaps the investigation was not proper."

Her colleague looked at her with an unreadable look. Was he amused or even considering her explanation? Charlotte was not normally intimidated by a look alone, but somehow this one from her colleague gave her a strange feeling. She shook her head and took a breath before she continued.

"I doubt there are any answers outside logic or science. The answers are there. You just have to know where to look." She couldn't help but grin slightly.

"That's why they put the 'I' in the FCI." 

His voice dropped a few tones and he looked at her again with that unreadable look and his mouth twitched as if he seemed to have trouble holding back a grin too. He cleared his throat and said in his normal but serious tone. 

"One can hardly expect the officer to be able to resolve the case on his own."

Sidney Parker stood up and went to the corner of the room to take his coat, hat and cane. Charlotte looked at him questioningly, but followed him to the door, which he held open and gestured out. For a moment she was satisfied, that he apparently still had manners contrary to many of her male colleagues, but came to the conclusion, that he probably didn’t want to leave her alone in his office. As he locked the door behind her he explained.

"You get your things, the carriage will be ready in fifteen minutes."

And even though Charlotte didn't know what exactly was coming, she was looking forward to the challenge. She nodded at him and ran up the stairs with flying skirts.

Sidney clenched his jaw and watched her as she left. There was something about this Agent Heywood that made him feel unsettled. Not that he was easily unsettled, and he didn't know exactly what it was, but she gave him a strange feeling. He was sure there was no danger from her, at least not in the real sense. She seemed interested, and maybe she was. The slight blush that flushed her cheeks showed her enthusiasm to finally be able to work instead of being stuck in London under a pile of papers. Like his London friends, 'the lone gunmen' had told him.

But it was strange that they had assigned such a young girl to him. It was obvious that she was supposed to spy on him and expose him as a weirdo. Maybe even her papers were faked and she was just the secretary or an agent trainee, a favourite nice of the section chief. With a slight grin, he thought that he would soon expose her, because any young lady would faint at the sight of a dead woman, especially at the same age. 

The way he saw it, she wanted to prove herself. Every young lady in a profession had to do that and he was in favour of equality, even if he didn't trust her gender in private. Even if the people in London seemed to think so, otherwise they would probably have sent him someone less attractive. No matter! He pushed the thought away and reminded himself to be on his guard, who knows who or what she really was. He couldn't trust her under any circumstances!

No sooner had he stepped outside and lit a cigar than he heard the crunch of shoes behind him. He turned, expecting to see someone else, but it was his colleague, and he was impressed that Agent Heywood had neither changed her clothes nor was she carrying any of those unnecessary accessories. Furthermore she didn't seem tired from her trip or like a typical young lady cornered by his little question game before. She had replaced her small briefcase with a slightly larger one, which looked like a medical bag. Interestingly enough, he felt something similar to pride, which was a very strange feeling, because he didn't know or trust her. But if it was true, if she was true… he had to admit that as a woman, to choose one or rather two professions, which were actually still mainly dominated by men, in these times they lived in, was simply admirable.

Nevertheless, he should first form his own opinion.

The carriage ride to Old Town took barely twenty minutes. As the name suggested was it the old town, before Sanditon was built as a small fishing village on the coast a few generations ago. Charlotte took in the information, nodding her head and looked out of the window excitedly, seeming to soak up all the new impressions. Sidney felt a certain vibration coming from her, as if she were about to jump up and cheer. Of course, he couldn't imagine what it was like for her, but it had to be extremely exciting. For the life of him, he couldn't imagine his sister doing something like that. Travelling alone to another town, living among strangers and probably the most exciting thing of all, working. And working among men! Alone. With no chaperone but a gun ready to hand.

He caught himself thinking about where she was hiding it. At least not under the shoulder or on a belt around her waist, her coat was too tightly cut for that.

"Why are you watching me?" She asked suddenly and Sidney felt caught, but told himself and also her that he just tried to figure out the case. 

However he didn't tell her, that in his mind there was also the case of 'Charlotte Heywood', which he couldn't easily put into a category. Of course, she was here to spy on him for 'them down in London', yet he couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't that what worried him.

The question was could he trust her? Even he had the strange feeling, that he somehow knew he could trust her. It confused him. And maybe was she just well trained and skilled at hiding the truth. What she was up to? Was she like all the others he knew or just too naive and honest to play this game? Almost unbelievable to be intelligent, strong and beautiful. There had to be a hook. He just had to discover it or maybe there was nothing to discover? Maybe she was really only an amazing admirable young woman who wanted to change the world, to make it a better and safer place? 

Either way, he would find out.


	3. the death in Old Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While they examine the dead young woman, Sidney tries to find out if Charlotte is who she says she is and Charlotte quickly finds her way around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little warning: This chapter examines a dead woman.  
> I'll keep it short and discreet, but just as you know.

When they arrived in Old Town, the officer was already waiting for them, and Charlotte was once again pleasantly surprised when her colleague not only reached out to her as a matter of course, but also took her bag without being asked, and without making a fuss about it. Quite different from how one of her London colleagues once said to another female agent. 

"You want to be equal? Then you can carry your own things." Only with great effort could Charlotte refrain from commenting. 

  


The local officer greeted them both with just a nod. He asked them to follow him and took them to the red brick house where the school for young ladies was located. He led them through a dark, narrow corridor to an equally narrow staircase leading up to the second floor. There he walked down a small corridor to the last room and pointed to the door.

Because it was so small, Charlotte waited until Sidney had stepped into the room, and as she wanted to follow him, the officer blocked her way into the room and said.

"Agent Parker, your assistant should wait outside, this is not what a young lady should see."

Although it seemed to be a noble gesture of the man, she found it insulting that a woman could only be the assistant and not an equal agent. She felt her face flush with anger and rage that women in her position always had to prove themselves twice and three times over, but also because of what Agent Parker said in response.

"You're mistaken, officer" he said, tensely, "I'm the one who assists her."

"What?" snapped the officer and his further words really tugged at Charlotte's self-control, "do they really let women play doctor now?"

"I'm an agent, just like my colleague here," she said, holding out her ID card to the man, who shamelessly studied it.

"Special Agent Charlotte Heywood, I don't believe it!" he shook his head and continued  
"She should still be in school!"

But before Charlotte could say anything back, Sidney leaned to him and spoke in a conspiratorial tone but still loud enough for her to hear.

"If I were you, I'd hold my tongue, because she was also top of the year... in shooting."

A warm feeling flared in her stomach as her gaze crossed with Agent Parker's, who nodded slightly at her and then positioned himself in front of the bed so that the view of the young woman inside continued to be obscured. Whether he did it to protect her from the sight or whether it was unintentional, she did not know.

Charlotte looked at the impertinent little man in front of her and raised her eyebrows until the officer stepped aside and let her enter, watching her every move. She looked around the room a little unfocused, partly to calm herself down about his behaviour and to prepare herself inwardly for what she was about to do. She had seen the drawings of the other victims that Agent Parker had pinned to the wall and the sight alone had given her an uneasy feeling. It wasn't the fact that it was a dead woman lying in the bed, nor necessarily the way the body was prepared, she had seen far worse during her training. No, it was more the fear of failure when she examined her first corpse alone, while two men would be looking over her shoulder.

"We'll come back to you if we have any questions." 

Sidney Parker then said, as if he had heard her thoughts. Nodding once more to the officer with a slight smile, who puffed and gave Charlotte a mean look and then slammed the door behind him as he left the room.

"Thank you." She said as she took off her bonnet and coat and took a small book out of her bag.

When she turned back to Agent Parker, she caught him looking at her. Then he nodded and pointed to the bed, he was very curious what she would do.

Charlotte was meticulous and accurate. She couldn't draw as exact as he could, but she wrote down everything she saw in detail and so a whole hour passed before they examined the young woman more closely. At first they only exposed the feet up to the ankles and the hands and arms up to the shoulders. Of course he had already seen naked women, dead and alive, but he held back from telling his young colleague, he didn't want to make it any more uncomfortable than it was for her anyway.

Sidney saw on her flushed cheeks that Charlotte was quite excited and nervous. Not because she couldn't do her work, of that he was sure after a few minutes, but because it was her first case that she examined and that as the only doctor. He didn’t have any problems working with women. At that moment he saw them as colleagues and expected just as much or little from them as from any male colleague. Nevertheless, it made him uncomfortable to examine a nude woman with Charlotte Heywood. He didn't know exactly why that was, it was somehow not appropriate. He heard his colleague take a deep breath before she took the sheet in her hands at face level and pulled it down to the collarbones of the young women. Shortly he glanced at Charlotte and saw that there was a strange expression on her face. He would have loved to know what was going through her pretty head. 

Sidney closed his eyes at the thought and immediately pushed it off. 

"What do you see?"  
"She looks like she is sleeping."

Charlotte replied and he agreed, although he actually wanted to know what her professional opinion was. He did not intend to rush anything and yet they should hurry up a bit so that they could use the daylight as long as it was there. 

"I think the killer gave her a medicine or poison that makes it look that way." Charlotte explained and he was briefly surprised that she meant it professionally. 

"What makes you think that?" He asked, suddenly fully focused again on the case that lay before them.

Amazed, he followed her explanations while she talked very fast and continued her notes. How she could do it without getting confused was fascinating. Then she fell silent and pulled the sheet further down, only then did he turn around. If he was a bit hesitant to examine a woman's corpse with her, she apparently had no problems with it. Charlotte told him the characteristics of rigor mortis and the period in which she assumed the time of death. With the witness statements the officer had taken, she came to the conclusion that the young woman had been given something to artificially delay decomposition so that the murder could calmly put these strange marks on her skin.

He heard her clothes rustle and dared a quick glance over his shoulder. He saw that she was bending very close over the dead woman. Apparently she smelled at her and confirmed it with her next statement.

"She smells of roses and something I can't quite make out."

Sidney Parker confirmed that the officer and the witness who had first found the dead woman had also noticed the scent of roses only it had been even more intense.

"That's strange." She murmured and again he dared a quick glance.

From her bag she took out an object that looked like a pair of glasses.

"I have no idea what this means, Agent Parker, but it looks like the symbols were somehow painted on her skin from the inside."

She stood there with her hands on her hips, flushed cheeks and looked down at the young woman. 

"The others had similar signs, but not exactly the same." 

Sidney explained, handing her his notes on the three previous cases. She looked at him sceptically and that little crease from before was there again and he had the urgent need to wipe it away with his thumb. Why would he like to do it? He shook his head and tried to focus on the case. 

"I assume you forgot to show me that before?" she asked, still staring into his face.

It was a penetrating, almost unpleasant look that made him sweat very slightly. Not exactly sweat, rather a certain warmth that began on his shoulder blades and slipped over his back like a warm towel. 

Agent Parker wasn't a man to be easily intimidated. It was one of his trained virtues, for which everyone in school and academy had envied him. Nevertheless, he had to admit the look of this little person in front of him almost made him collapse. That had probably never happened to him and he shook his head, exhaling loudly.

"I didn't want to influence you." he said lamely and took his eyes off her. 

He knew, that she knew that this was just an excuse and the real reason was that he didn't trust her. Charlotte pursed her pretty mouth, from which only very intelligent, well-chosen words had come so far. As if she had to hold back from doing exactly the opposite. She nodded and turned away, but not before he saw her disappointed look. He groaned briefly, he really didn't feel like arguing with her, but before he could say anything more, she asked.

"Because I'm supposed to spy on you or because I'm a woman?" 

He heard the small crack in her voice and he had a heavy conscience. Guilty conscience no, but he was sorry that she thought he was exactly like the stupid officer. 

"The first of course." Sidney clenched his jaw and then stared at the wall next to the bed when she said nothing, just nodded. 

Sidney went to the window and looked out in the late afternoon and explained that they had to hurry up before it got dark. In addition, the relatives of the young lady wanted to bury her.

"I'll be ready soon." 

Charlotte answered in a neutral voice and Sidney knew that he had messed up. They had gotten on well together so far, he even had the feeling that they could work well together in the future. But her tone felt like a step back, like she had taken something away from him. What was also very strange. They only know each other for about two and a half hours! 

He stroked his face and then explained in the greatest possible detail what he knew from the other victims. She noted a few things, otherwise she just mumbled an "Ah" or two. Expecting her to say something more, he asked for her opinion, which prompted a sarcastic laugh from her. Then she turned the dead woman on her side and shortly afterwards asked him to look at what she had discovered. Charlotte pointed to a spot under her left shoulder blade and handed him the magnifying glasses she had used to examine the whole body. A closer look revealed a tiny puncture mark. He looked at her in amazement as he stood up again.

"A stab in the heart."

Was her simple explanation, but Sidney detected a certain undertone in her neutral voice.

"That seems kind of fitting, don't you think?"

Her gaze met his again and he didn't know exactly how to respond. Was she referring to the fact that he didn't trust her?

"What do you mean?"

"Well. Roses are the symbol of love. The heart as well..." she trailed off, pulled the blanket over the face of the young lady, stood still as if to say a quiet prayer and packed her things.

While standing with her back to him, she announced her suspicions to him.  
"Maybe it was a crime of love or jealousy."

That was an explanation he had not expected. He also had to admit to himself that she too was not what he had expected, and even now he did not know exactly what he had expected. Obviously not her.

Why he was thinking about her again was a complete mystery to him, he had to focus again! 

Her words sounded plausible, but he had suspected something completely different. The same suspicion he carried with him for ten years. He knew these signs, even if he never found out what they meant, but of course he kept silent.

"I assume you drew the patterns?"

"Hers are not complete," he admitted, looking at the arms of the woman.  
"The marks are only on arms and legs."

"Judging from your drawings in your office, your other dead ones have been fully painted?"

She asked in a neutral tone, but he had of course noticed the constant emphasis on "your".

"Yes."  
"So he," she made a small pause to clean her hands with a malodorous substance "or she was interrupted."

"She?"  
"Why not Agent Parker, do you think women can't kill?"

He saw the cheeky glint in her eyes, nodded briefly and confirmed.  
"Women can basically do everything men can do."

"Oh is that so?" She asked as she picked up her coat and slipped it on, he reached to help her but she turned away.

"Of course." He meant it.

"Well then." 

Charlotte put on her bonnet and looked at him for a second. Once more he reached out, but before he could take her bag, she was already walking out of the room. Sidney was sure this would be a long way back to Sanditon. 

"Well then." He moaned and rolled his eyes annoyed at the officer who than came into the room. 

It would only make it more difficult to work together. He didn't want to work together in this way or at all. Sidney had not wanted a colleague, regardless of gender, but certainly not someone who spied on him. Nevertheless, of course, he had to admit that she had discovered something that he had missed or could not have discovered because the stab was so small. She brought in more knowledge than he ever had in his investigations and he was grateful for that. He had to make that clear to her somehow, even if he didn't trust her. After all, she came from 'them down in London' and was also a woman. An interesting woman, indeed, but a woman. He did not trust her sex at all on a private level, which had its reasons. So he should just see her as a colleague. He was only allowed to see her as a colleague. After all, she was only a colleague.

Even though he realised to his confusion, he had his difficulties with that fact.


	4. overview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a special tension between the two of them and Mary has her thoughts about that, Charlotte tries to figure out what happened in the past and Sidney tries to figure out if Charlotte is to be trusted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, but I had to finish "The Bond between us" and my internet didn't work yesterday.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

The short drive back to Sanditon was as tense as Sidney had imagined. He searched for words he could say without admitting that he admired her for her skills and her knowledge. He cleared his throat, but she pretended to continue reading in her notes.

"What's your theory?" This was a neutral question.  
"Do you really want to hear it?" A counter-question, without looking up, which meant she wanted to show him she was angry and belligerent.  
"Of course. I want your professional opinion."  
"Even though you think I am a spy?"

Again, her gaze caught him ice cold. What was this with her? Why did he feel naked when she looked at him like that?

"First and foremost, you're an investigator and, of course, a doctor." Sidney tried to keep his voice neutral, so she wouldn't get any ideas.

Her look gave him no clue as to what she was thinking. Only this small but charming wrinkle between her eyebrows made him think she was thinking about an answer. What kind, he could not guess.

"As far as I can see, the victim had a very thin, splashy object inserted under the left shoulder blade, which leads me to believe that this object, perhaps a long needle, penetrated the heart and caused death."

Sidney nodded. Looking at the case from her point of view, without the knowledge of the earlier cases, and banishing his theory from his mind, he had to agree with her.

"That would be a obvious possibility."  
"Since there are no signs of a struggle," she continued, "there are three possible ways it could have happened." 

Her tone was still cool and emphatically distant, but he noticed the slight flush on her cheeks. He nodded at her and tried to convey that she should continue.

"Either it was a familiar person she let get close, or it just happened too fast for her to fight it or even scare, or the killer had given the victim a poison beforehand." 

Satisfied, she looked at him and raised her chin.  
"Now it's just a matter of proving one of the three theories."  
"Yes." He nodded and looked out the window.

Charlotte noticed the strange look on his face and wondered what he was thinking. Did it have something to do with his brother's disappearance? 

"You’ve seen it before." It wasn't a question.  
"The three victims before were..."  
"No, before that." 

Their eyes met and he just couldn't deny that she had hit the nail on the head. How did she know that? But he tried not to hide it and answered.

"Yes."  
"Tell me about it."

Her colleague was doing that thing with his jaw again which was making her strangely confused. She just couldn't stop staring at this muscle that tightened in such an interesting way. It was the strongest muscle in the human body. What made him clench his teeth so hard? It had to be a great emotional tension. One that made him shut up and say nothing. Keep quiet, although the rest of his face, especially his eyes, told her that he wanted to shout out what was on his mind. Charlotte was aware that he would not trust her with his innermost feelings, they had known each other for less than half a day, but still she hoped for some more information. 

"What do you know?" 

She tried to sympathise with him, she tried to put herself in his shoes. Why shouldn't he be suspicious? After all she had been herself and there was no denying that she was supposed to do exactly what he feared. She was supposed to report ‘them in London’ about him and his work so that they could discredit him and take away this project with which he hoped to solve his brother's disappearance. He looked at her briefly. His eyes narrowed, trying to see if he could trust her. Charlotte noticed that she was smiling before she could do anything about it. He puffed out a breath and pursed his lips as if he were about to smile too.

"The young lady was only the fourth victim."  
"Only?" Charlotte felt a cold shiver run down her spine.  
"Well, as far as I could trace, these things always happen to five people."

That was a statement that required further questioning. Charlotte fired an incredible number of questions at her colleague and so quickly, coupled with assumptions and presumptions, so he didn't know what to answer first. If it hadn't all been so tragic and if there hadn't been so many victims, confused, deceased or like his brother, missing for years, he might have found it quite charming how eagerly she searched in her pretty head for solutions. Within a very short time, she had created and rejected a few theories, tried to explain everything in a scientific way and made a few notes along the way, that they remained sitting in the carriage for quite a while, even though they had already arrived at Trafalgar House.

"We should get out." Sidney noticed and opened the door.

Before he could get out of the carriage and help her, she had already jumped out and walked into the house. She greeted Mary warmly, who offered to have tea with them, but Charlotte immediately told her that they had to get back to work while all the impressions were still fresh.

Mary looked at Sidney and although he knew the look, he said nothing, just nodded at his sister-in-law and left her standing.

With a light smile on her face, Mary went back into the small salon and set down to drink her tea alone. Sidney never let her drink her tea alone, when he was in Sanditon. Neither when his friends where in town and he was about to meet them, nor when he was wrapped up in a case that was too challenging. Not even if there was any news in Tom’s case, which of course was almost never the case. Probably Sidney didn’t even know what he was doing or would deny it, if she would dare to tell him. Mary was sure it had something to do with his colleague. Charlotte Heywood seemed intelligent, lively and nice. Very different from what his other colleague was back then, who had wrapped him around her finger and betrayed him in the end. 

That is why her brother-in-law was aloof and often harsh to young woman. He was not a man who opened up easily or trusted anyone directly. Sidney needed a long time to let someone close, but once he did, he would do anything for that person. And Mary had the tiny hope that this was the case, even if it was a bit early to say so. She would keep an eye on both of them and encourage him to try to get along with Charlotte, to trust her, if she was to be trusted.  
Mary finished her tea and decided to write a letter. To convince him, she needed support of others and more eyes would also see more. There was the first ball of the season at the end of the week, a plausible excuse to invite the others. She smiled, she hadn’t felt so light since a long time and was glad to have something else to do than to wait if she could help Sidney somehow.

There were completely different things to think about and do in the basement. Sidney took all the drawings and unusable notes off the wall and, together with Charlotte, made a new list of their facts. She copied her notes on cut pieces of paper in a more legible handwriting and handed them to him. They worked wordlessly and efficiently. Side by side. In complete, pleasant silence. When they were finished, Sidney took a few steps back and looked at the things that looked like an organized mess, but on the whole provided a good overview. Charlotte stood there, looking at their work. Tapping her lips with her finger while she thought about everything, her eyes jumped from one piece of information to the next. She didn't notice how Sidney was watching her until she suddenly turned to him and caught him looking at her again. She tilted her head to the side and couldn't help but noticed that there was something in his eyes what told her something, but she wasn’t able to read it. He was the first to look away and Charlotte was a bit befuddled, she didn’t even know why. Her heart was making a strange lift but she thought it was because of the question, she was about to ask. Swallowing her fear of his reaction away she asked.

"Can I see the files of the other cases as well?" ‘Including the one of your brother’ she only asked in her head.

For a short moment he lifted his eyes to her, but said nothing, as if he was trying to figure out what he could show her and what not. They should solve this case. For the victims and their relatives. For the wifes, husbands and children of the dissapeared or what he believed abducted persons. Agent Heywood was eager to find out. He could still feel this vibration coming from her. When she opened her moth to say something, Mary knocked on the door and told them that the dinner was ready.

"Oh, then I have to go." said Charlotte and was happy to leave this dark office and her colleague, who wasn’t ready to entrust her with the previous cases. 

"You can eat with us, Agent Heywood." 

Mary said, hoping Charlotte would say yes, but sensible and dutiful as she appeared to be, she said that Mrs Griffith would be waiting for her. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes and Mary was sure to feel a special tension between her and Sindey.

During the meal Sidney thought about what he should do and was even more silent than usual. Mary tried more than once to get him to talk, but he kept quiet.

It went on like that the next two days. Charlotte did not ask again about the older cases, but tried to find a solution for the current ones. She read huge medical books about poison and flipped through a collection of recorded weapons. On the third day she asked Sidney if he would allow her to question the witnesses in the school for young ladies again herself.

"But of course." He said, a little surprised but then asked her why she thought she was learning anything different from them, as they already knew. "I don't think they'll be eager to be questioned again about the terrible facts, that a friend died under the same roof."  
"I think that as a woman of almost the same age, I might be able to find out one or two things that were not confided in you or the officer."

Sidney knew she was hinting at something like intimate conversation between girls or young women and noticed the slight flush on her cheeks again before their eyes met and he felt something very strange. A familiar but not welcome feeling. Something he had forgotten for a long time. In this moment he could see her face as if he had drawn it. These wide brown intelligent eyes. The curved eyebrows that were always in motion. He had no answer for the question forming in his head, but he tried to release that certain tension that settled in him every time one of those quiet moments arose between them.

"Then I'll have the carriage ready in...."  
"No need." She nodded at him and disappeared.

Sidney supressed the urge to follow her. What was she trying to proof? He knew that she didn’t need to justify herself to him, but he had this feeling, she tried to show him, that she is like a male colleague. Independent, equal of conduct a survey and capable to walk alone to Old Town.

She did not return for the rest of the day and in the late afternoon he went to Mrs Griffith's to ask about her.

"Oh Mr Parker," she refused to address him or anyone else with something as new-fangled as 'agent’.  
"Miss Heywood said she would probably stay the night there, if the Lady would let her."  
"Ahh." Was the only answer he was capable of, because the effect the name titled as Miss had to him, was very confusing.

The next day at lunchtime, Agent Heywood came running into his office as if she hadn't been away all night, and Sidney waited patiently until she had taken off her coat and bonnet before he could ask if she had found out anything new.

"Yes," she looked at him briefly and then immediately dropped her gaze.

Sidney noticed her reticence. She was quiet and her blush darkened her cheeks. 

"Is it difficult to tell?" He asked gently, feverishly trying to think of a way to ease her concerns.  
"Well... rather unseemly." She stared at her notes and seemed to consider.

Sidney noticed her breath quickening and he didn’t even know why he lifted his hand, maybe to place it on hers so she knew it was all right, but at the same time she handed him her notebook. 

A startling tingling pain coursed through Charlotte’s hand as his fingers reached for the booklet and lightly touched hers. Once again he looked at her, but she turned away and wrote the new statements from the witnesses on the small papers and pinned it to their older incomplete ones.

Soon after she said goodbye, pretending to be tired, but of course her Sidney saw that she took documents and also the book of weapons with her. 

Once again he was very silent at dinner and Mary tried to cheer him up with gossip and news. But he didn’t seem to hear her. The first reaction, the lifting of the head, came as Mary unconcernedly remarked,

"I look forward what Agent Heywood would think about the ball."  
"The ball?"  
"I hope you did not forget?"  
"No, of course not." He seemed to think about something and Mary smirked slightly.  
"What she will think about our country balls, after she lived in London."

Sidney just looked at her, but kept silent.

"You should tell her."  
"You should do that. " Sidney clenched his jaw.  
"Or you could give her the invitation, when you go and give her the files."  
"What files?" Did his colleague asked Mary about the files? Oh, that was a loss of trust! He felt the anger growing in his chest.  
"The files you carry around for years."  
"But I..." 

Mary stood up and tapped on his forehead, with no more words she went out of the room and as she didn’t came back he followed her. In the hallway she handed him his coat, hat and a bunch of files.

"Gentlemen are not allowed in at this hour, Mr Parker!" 

Mrs Griffith declared, but then let him in after he had shown her the files and emphasised that he had to hand them over to his colleague himself. She led him into the small parlour and called for a maid to take him to the adjoining building where Charlotte lived. The young maid looked very tired and as soon as she let him into the house, he let her explain the way and walked the rest of the way without her. In the whole building lived two people. An elderly lady on the lower floor and Charlotte's room was on the floor above. He knocked and hoped that she was not yet asleep. The creak of the floorboards made him think she was behind the door and he knocked again. 

"Agent Heyw..."

The door squeaked as she opened it and looked at him with wide eyes. Of course she was surprised that he came to see her, but she didn’t hesitate and pushed the door open to let him in. 

"I thought I'd come by to," he held up the files and her face lost its surprised expression, "well, to share everything I know."

He smiled cautiously and she couldn't help but honour it with a charming grin. It was a huge step for him to trust her this far.

"I don't have much room." She apologised and gestured to her room, which he only now noticed.

There was a cupboard, a small dressing table with a hand-sized mirror on which he placed the files, a bed covered with papers full of notes and a small bedside table with a candle on it.

"Maybe we should..." he began, but at the same time Charlotte handed him a pillow and pointed to the floor.  
"We are looking for parallels between the cases." She took her notebook and waited for information from him that he knew for sure and did not have to re-read in the files.

After hours, when even the second candle had almost burnt down, Charlotte stretched against the pain she always got when she sat in an uncomfortable position for too long, and with the corset still on, she was about to undress as Agent Parker arrived.

"We're going to call it a day." Sidney said apologetically, he should have just shown her in the office.

Gratefully, she shut the one file she had been reading and one of the little papers flew to the floor. Sidney looked at it briefly, recognising it as a transcription of the marks on the victims, and placed it on the folder. He turned away as she suddenly reached for him.

"Agent Parker!"

Sidney turned back and looked at her questioningly. She pointed to the small mirror attached to her table and he leaned closer. Their faces almost touched as they both stared into the mirror and his skin became pleasantly warm. But he didn't give in to that feeling, instead he let that other feeling take over. Pride and satisfaction that it was her who had discovered it.

The strange marks on, or rather under, the skin of the victims were not a random pattern. It was a script. There were words written there that meant something. He could say nothing, only lean closer to the mirror and stare speechlessly into it.

Charlotte felt the same. She had goose bumps, her face tingled and tears of realisation came to her eyes when she recognised the writing.

"It's Greek."


	5. philosophy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two can't stop looking for a solution and come across some philosophical wisdom. The tension is growing and confusion is a constant companion....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for you liking this slightly different Sidlotte story! It's a lot of fun!
> 
> Although this chapter is more like an x-file (think of the darkness in their office)  
> I've included a well-known scene from the series, which we all love...

Although they were both tired, they continued to work. First they checked whether the other patterns were also mirror-inverted Greek, and after they had saw that they were, they first tried to get to know the writing of the last victim, hoping that it might point to the murderer. Charlotte wrote down the Greek text the right way round, skimming the text as she did so, but there was no hint of anything only more riddles. It was the text from the right arm of the victim and it was wisdom from Euripides of Salamis.

"Be with me in moderation, but do not forsake me."

Calmly, she also copied the text of the left arm and it was from Heraclitus. 

"Nature brings together the masculine with the feminine and so makes the very first covenant through the opposite natures."

Then Charlotte began to copy and translate the text of the third victim and Sidney helped her, although his knowledge of Greek was not comparable to hers. She sat on the only chair she had and he stood next to it leaning down on the small table to be able to look in the mirror as well. He was surprised that she, as a woman didn’t had another mirror. All the other women he know, Mary and his sister included had much more mirrors. But as he already knew, she wasn’t like any other woman. 

The candle stood between them and flickered with every little breath or movement. When Charlotte tried to identify a difficult passage, she puffed and he could feel her breath on his hand as he tried to write down his own text. Charlotte, on the other hand, could feel each of his breaths on her left temple. At first it evoked this feeling of the forbidden closeness that always aroused this tension between men and woman, but after a while it was more of a pleasantly reassuring sensation. It reminded her that everything was really happening. Her first case with her grumpy colleague. The case was mysterious and demanding, where her medical and language skills were required. It was a dangerous case, where the fifth victim, probably also a young fine woman, was still feeling safe. They need to get all the information, to rescue this person in time. Her thoughts went trough the facts they had, what the quotes meant and the forbidden things this young ladies had done. The meaning behind it was close, but she couldn’t quite grasp this one particular thought.

Sidney was amazed that she was able to read the translation simultaneous as she wrote it down in Greek and looked over at her from time to time. He was about to say how fascinating he found that fact, but kept silent as he looked at her a moment longer. Charlotte had tied her hair up with a ribbon at the back of her head and he noticed what a graceful neck she had.

He immediately dismissed the idea and puffed so hard at the confusing, constantly returning thought about her as a woman, that the flame danced wildly and almost went out.

"Watch out!" She called amusedly and looked up at him shortly, still slightly smiling. 

Only then did she realise how close they really were. Her temple tingled and she suddenly felt the heat emanating from him. Their eyes locked and it was completely silent for a moment. 

Sidney had the feeling that he had forgotten to breathe, because suddenly he had to gasp for air and that helped him to wake up from the spell.

Although they tried even harder to keep as much distance from each other as possible, it was not so easy in front of this terribly tiny mirror. 

"We should continue tomorrow." 

Sidney said a little later and although he didn't really want to go, he stretched and noticed how much his back hurt. He tried to suppress the groan but of course she noticed.

"I told you to sit down at once."

Charlotte stood up, walked around him and pushed him from his original place with only her presence. She exchanged their work, explaining that they should finish what they had just started before there might be another mess tomorrow.

Fascinated and in awe, he looked up at her. He had never met anyone so immersed in her work and so willing to give everything to find a solution. Unaware he was smiling a little. The light of the only candle in the room was perhaps playing a trick on him, but he imagined he could see her cheeks darken. So even when she pretended not to notice, she knew he was looking at her. He let his eyes drop and moved them slowly so he could see her face reflecting in the mirror. The glimpse he caught were her dark wide eyes, which held his for a blink of an eye. 

"I feel as if we are close." She said, looking on the paper and immediately he moved further away from her.  
"No, I mean…" she straighten up, hands on her hips, "it’s like it’s on the tip of my tongue, but… You know?"  
"Yes." Sidney declared, stood up as well and paced through the room, he couldn’t think straight, when she was so close.

He counted all the facts on which they had newly gained and a connection dawned on him. He ran to one of the files on the floor, pulled out the record of the pattern, ran back to her and put it in front of the mirror. 

"Please just read."

Charlotte first read it in Greek and fell silent after a short time. She shook her head and stared at him in disbelief. 

"What is it?" He saw tears shimmering in her eyes but kept silent.

"I love and I am loved, we are now part of heaven." 

Charlotte couldn't look at him, the quote from another Greek poet, Sappho, got under her skin and she didn't even know exactly why. But apparently Sidney did not seem to notice her behaviour or ignored it willingly. He ran away, placed the note back in the file and handed her another one from one of the other files. She read it silently, looked at him briefly, lowered her eyes again and read aloud.

"The lover looks in a mirror..." she cleared her throat, "in which he discovers himself." "Plato?" 

Sidney asked and Charlotte nodded astonished that he also knew Greek philosophers, which was of course a fact, considering that he could also read Greek. She rubbed her eyes, she could no longer think clearly. 

"It's late." He said, reaching for her but dropped his hand before he could touch her. 

Why did he even want to do that?

"Yes, and my last candle will soon go out." 

She looked into the flame. It was very dark in the room. The air heavy with the scent of the candle and old files and a feeling that Charlotte had never experienced. Something she could neither classify nor catalogue. It didn't scare her, but it was foreign to her and therefore difficult to place. She had to think about it, but it was difficult, especially with him in her small room.

"I'll go then." 

But Sidney stood there for a moment longer and looked at her. Agent Heywood had brought great insights, she was more capable than so many he knew. Now she was probably tired and exhausted, from all the information, her discovery and the translation in the bad light.

"I will prepare everything in the office." He said, but did not explain it further. 

Charlotte nodded and put the files together, she was sure he would want to take them all back with him. And she was right. After he had put on his coat, she placed the files in his arms. Her fingers accidentally touched his hand and she pulled it back. What was the matter with her? She was glad of that Sidney had apparently not noticed. 

He paused once more on the doorstep, then flicked through the files and wordlessly handed one to her. She looked him in the eyes for a moment, but she already knew whose file it was, he didn't have to say anything. They nodded silently to each other and he left the house.

No sooner had he left than Charlotte tore open the window, she had to cool down to be able to think again. She saw him slowly disappear in the shadow of the night until they had completely swallowed him. A cold shiver ran down her back at the sight. It seemed to her as if it was an omen. Although she didn't believe in such things at all. How strange it all was. She shook off the heavy thought and finally undressed. Prepared for the night and placed the candle, that had burned down to a stump, on the small table next to her bed. She sat down pushed the pillow into her aching back and opened the file with the name ‘X-9210’. The first page was always the one with the briefly summarized facts. Charlotte skimmed the text first, trying to avoid the inevitable but when she read it, it the made her feel sad for Agent Parker and the knot in her stomach tightened. 

"Thomas Parker, missing."

Sidney could not sleep well and, as so often, lay not in his bed but on the sofa in Tom's study. He neither drank nor stared at the model of the city, which had changed more than a little since then. He just lay there, looking at the ceiling and thinking. The facts, the new thoughts but also new and old feelings were swirling around in his head. He couldn't let himself get involved with her. What? No he meant to think, he could not let himself trust her! And later be disappointed again. Even if she now knew what had happened with Tom, as far as anyone could understand, he couldn't reveal any more about himself. Agent Heywood wrote so much that he was sure she would send her first report to London before the ball. The question was how much harm would it do?

When it was time for the house to wake up, he went to his room to freshen up and change. Then he asked the servants to help him move the large mirror from his room and the one from the guest room to the cellar. Of course, they were not allowed to enter his office, so they left them outside the door.

It was not even eight o'clock when Agent Heywood entered the house and was warmly greeted by Mary, who was still shocked to learn for what they needed the mirrors. She suggested that they visit Lady Denham and ask her to let them borrow one of the books from her huge library. She was sure that among them were collections of the Greek philosophises. But Charlotte asked Mary to go by herself, so she could translate the rest of the Greek texts.  
Mary escorted her then into the cellar to ask Sidney if he needed something.

"Good morning." Charlotte greeted her colleague and he returned her greeting with a small nod and showed her, her own workspace. 

There were not many words and those that were spoken were short and to the point. Mary thought something must have happened between them, but said nothing. She stayed with them for a while, especially to help Charlotte set up her place, but the atmosphere was almost unbearable. Mary could feel Sidney's tension. He seemed like a wild horse that could only be kept calm with great effort. She observed that Charlotte did not look at him, but immediately started her work as if she did not feel the tension in the room.

Shortly afterwards, Mary left them with a few good words and held Sidney by the arm for a moment. She tried to make him understand in one look that whatever this was between them, he should get it out of the way. But whether she was successful, she could not say.

As soon as Mary was gone, Charlotte stood up and Sidney turned to her. Their eyes met for a very small moment, then Charlotte handed him his brother's folder.

"I'm sorry you lost him." 

Her voice left no doubt that she really meant what she said and he nodded briefly.

"Maybe I'll still find him," he smiled wryly. 

"I don't want to hurt you, but..."

Oh this sentence always made him gasp sarcastically. If someone really didn't want to hurt another, why did they do it anyway?

"The flowers that were found with your brother's things..." 

She began her sentence thoughtfully and he looked at her, waiting. Although in his mind's eye the pieces of clothing appeared, with flower petals stuck to them, as if Tom had been frolicking in a flower meadow. 

"Could they be the same as those of our current victims?"

Their eyes met and he shook his head silently.

"The scent in the young ladies' rooms was the scent of roses, the flowers on Tom's clothes were lilies."

She wrote it down and pinned the note on the wall to the others. After that they didn’t speak much just translated the texts, which was a lot to do, cause the previous victims of the school of young ladies and the victims of the old cases had the pattern over their whole body. At some point Charlotte asked.

"Was the murder interrupted or why didn’t he wrote more?"

"Or she." Sidney said in a neutral voice and Charlotte had to look over her shoulder, to see if he was smiling, but he wasn’t.

"I believe so, Agent Parker. There are much more wisdom about love than what we have put together so far."  
"Hmm…"  
"What?"  
"It’s not only about love." He shut his eyes, he shouldn't have said that, now she would want to know.  
"What do you mean?"

Before he could hide it, she was standing next to him and looked over his shoulder into his mirror and read the text. She gasped for air and he closed his eyes in embarrassment. 

‘In the crooks of your body, I find my religion.’

Was not something a young lady should read, at least not with a man who was not hers. Slowly he opened his eyes and carefully looked at her. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes fixed on the piece of paper. He didn’t know what to say and clenched his jaw to stop himself from explaining it to her. 

Charlotte nodded and turned around to go back to her desk. She was glad that he didn’t say anything more and it spoke in his favour, that he had tried to hide it. Even when she, as a medical doctor knew, what happened when it happened, it was still a whole other thing to read it written down in a poetic way. It made it more tangible not so abstract, and more real somehow, even if it was just as confusing. Charlotte tried to understand it. These words changed a lot. It was something like a disproof of the knowledge she had. The knowledge she knew from books. She never had talked to someone about it, it wasn’t proper. But… did it really mean it wasn't painful, brutal and unbearable for the women if a woman had written it? 

In her head whirled thousand and one questions, she would never dare to ask, but oh, she wanted to know!  


Agent Heywood slid around in her chair uneasily and Sidney could literally see new questions constantly popping up in her pretty head. It all had to be very confusing for her. Even though she was a doctor, she still wasn't prepared for the fact that it wasn’t only an emotionless act of making children.

If only she were a man! 

He would be able to explain the words ‘making love’, like he did to his younger brother years ago, but he couldn’t do that now. He puffed, angry with himself, for not hiding it better. Why had he said anything at all? 

He wondered if she saw the facts differently now? She had heard from the young ladies that their friends had sneaked off now and then to meet someone. Would his colleague now realise that they had perhaps done more than talk to this stranger and perhaps exchange a kiss? Or even more?

Damn it! Sidney didn't want to be the one to explain it to her! He might... no, he couldn't even think that! Stay away from all women! He admonished himself and shook his head. Sidney couldn't take it anymore. He had to go!

"I erm... need a break." Sidney stood up without looking at her.

Charlotte was aware that he would not like to leave her alone in his office and got up too, it would do her good to get out of here for an hour as well. She took her coat and said a murmured goodbye and was immediately gone.

Sidney closed his eyes with a groan. His head ached and he knew it was not because he was translating the texts in the dark light of the candles here in his basement office. It was because a certain person was conjuring up a lot of feelings in him, which he tried to suppress with great effort, but unfortunately did in vain. Knowing what he had to do he left the house a few minutes after her.  


Charlotte walked down to the wide beach. Her gaze fixed on the open view. The wind whirled her hair around her had, but the breeze was too heavy to put her bonnet on. She decided to take a path away from the beach, where the wind was more pleasant, so she could put her bonnet on. Walking over green hills, she enjoyed the view over the sea. It was just amazing and it calmed down her nerves. The many questions in her head arranged themselves and she tried to think about the case. 

Everything indicated that the fifth victim would also be another young lady. One of the remaining ladies in the school for young ladies. The precautionary measure was that they all shared a dormitory with their host and that none of them should ever go anywhere alone. Whether it helped was the other question. 

Charlotte continued to think about the connections that existed and could not be denied.

The realization that all five years something awful happened made some people believe it wasn’t just a coincidence. There were reports of extra-terrestrial light, before, while and after the things that happened to the victims. Best seen in Old Town, the fields around it and by some from Sanditon who happened to be watching the sky at this time of the month. The victims were reported missing, confused or killed within three weeks. There was no more specific timeline. Agent Parker compared it to a shopping tour of different people in a city, like London. One would do everything in no time, another seemed to act more randomly. 

There was no exact victim profile either. There were single young ladies, bachelors, newly married couples or parts of them. Longer married ones, like Tom Parker. As well as older men and women. But no children. Also what happened to them was always different. Some, who came back, couldn’t remember one single thing. Other were confused and talked continuous about lights and something that sound like medical tests, but this could not be confirmed, because no one of them was able to describe it more precisely. One thing that was quite obvious, only the dead had this Greek writing under their skin. The survivors could not remember if they had it once or not. The other obvious connection was everything happened to people who lived in Old Town or had been there for a visit. As she had read from Tom Parker's file, he had been in Old Town shortly before his disappearance to talk to workers who were to work for him in Sanditon. 

While she walked on and on in her thoughts, making notes in her head and pushing the facts back and forth, she looked for one or two pretty shells. At some point she had made her way back to the water's edge and was enjoying the smell of the sea. The waterline was softer, although there was no soft light beach but stones and rocky cliffs. She walked around the next boulder and searched between the stones for more shells. 

Then she noticed pieces of clothing. Clothing of a man. In the same moment she heard water splashing and looked up. 

Charlotte couldn't believe her eyes and was unable to drop her gaze or turn around. 

She had to look at him. It was as if she was held by a spell. 

He walked closer as he wiped the salt water from his eyes. Soon he would notice her. ‘Move! Move!’ she cried in her head, but she was unable to do so. For a second. Or two.

He didn’t hide his manhood. 

Their eyes met. She gasped and finally was able to turn around.


	6. lone gunmen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conversation at the cove gets a little heated. Charlotte and Sidney want to avoid each other's afterwards. But the visit of old friends immediately forces them to get back to work, although something comes out that Sidney would have preferred to hide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> X-filers hopefully remember Mulder's friends 'the lone gunmen'. In this story Byers, Frohike and Langly become Babington, Crowe and Denham. ;-)
> 
> (It's set in a parallel universe, so Edward is one of the good guys this time.)

The salt water stung his eyes. Slowly Sidney waded out of the water, he knew the way blindly, like a newly hatched turtle knows the way to the water. The cooling down had done him good, so he could think in peace. About the case, his brother and even more about...

Her. 

His eyes were free of the water and what the…why was she standing next to his things looking at him? Really looking at him! He could feel the touch of her eyes on his skin. One second. Two. Or more. Her eyes darted to his. They were both frozen. They could not move. 

One second. Another. 

Finally she turned around and Sidney was able to speak.

"Miss Heyw…Agent Heywood!"

Splashing of the water against the rocks. She didn’t answer. Her small hands crawled her dress, maybe she was shocked, but he couldn’t supress the anger. All peace was gone.

"I wanted to be alone, now you are here!"

"I can take a walk wherever I want!" she grumbled back, he saw her straighten her back.

"This it isn’t proper always walk around alone!" he snapped and walked a bit closer he needed to get dressed.

"Would you rather I was chaperoned?"  
"Of course not," he exclaimed angrily, running his hand through his wet hair, "but at least this wouldn't happen!"  
"That I searched for shells?" she replied, equally angry and he shouted back.  
"No, that you… you looked at me longer than you should have!" 

Oh. 

Well, now the cat was out of the bag. Although they both knew what had happened, he had only just made it worse and… real. Now it was standing between them in big red letters. It wasn't right! 

"I assure you it wasn’t deliberate on my part." She snapped back. 

Charlotte knew he knew she was not telling the truth, he had seen her looking at him. But it was so…so… interesting, she wasn’t able to look away. The picture of him was burned in her brain. How would she be able to… to look at him and not remember how beautiful he was. No, not beautiful! Just different. Yes, just different.

Sidney found it kind of amusing, not the situation and not that he was still standing naked a few feet behind her, while the sea breeze making him freeze after his dip in the cold water. No, he found it amusing that this perfect little lady had been bold enough to look at him, but was now almost brazenly trying to deny it.

"It wasn't." 

His voice was suddenly very close. Charlotte closed her eyes to not to be tempted to turn towards him. She heard the stones crunching under his footsteps and then the rustling of clothes. He must finally getting dressed. The temptation to look at him once again was great, but she remained where she was. 

"You don't know what it's like!" She murmured.  
"What?" his voice also very low.  
"I've never... well, I've never..."   
"Never seen a naked man." Sidney finished her sentence and felt shabby as he did so. 

How could he forget himself like that? She was an innocent lady and he had such a conversation with her! But she stirred up such confusion in him! One moment she was a colleague, the other moment he thought of her as a woman and in the next he talked to her, as if she was one of his friends! That turned into anger and in this moment he didn't really know anymore what was going on.

"Alive..." her voice barely audible "a living naked man."

That was not the answer he had expected, but it was only natural, after all she had studied medicine. While he put on his trousers another cheeky thought flashed through his mind, 'there is a difference between living and alive', he smirked but supressed the urge to say so. What was wrong with him? Why did he think such things? This was absolutely no way to talk to her! He never had such inappropriate thoughts. Why now? What was that with her? What was she thinking of him? Oh he was sure, she would hate him, and she would surely think he was like any other man. But she wasn't allowed to, he didn't want her to think badly of him!

"Please forgive me." 

Charlotte kept silent and Sidney was very worried, he would have liked to stroke her arm to assure her, it was a slip of the tongue.

"I spoke out of turn." he tried again.  
"Of course." 

He couldn’t tell by her voice if she was hurt, offended, confused or angry. A moment later he was fully dressed and slipped over his coat, an odd feeling arose in him. Why was he talking to her like that? Why did he have this feeling deep down inside him, that he could talk to her like that? The knowledge that she wasn’t offended, but he kept silent and waited till she found her voice again.

"Excuse me."

She hurried away. Sidney looked after her, but wasn’t able to take the next step, even when she was fast she wasn’t running and he was sure he could reach her in a few moments. He shook his head, he should talk to hear, but needed to keep his distance. It was dangerous to be near him. She wasn’t his friend only a colleague and she would be soon back in London, even when the thought alone made him regret her departure already, it was better to just work and do nothing more. They should both forget the encounter, or at least ignore what happened. Either way, he would try everything to keep her at arms length. And safe.

Just like on the way down to the cove, Charlotte was blind to the nature around her. Again, she thought about everything carefully. But it didn't help. Every thought she had brought her back to what had happened a moment ago. When she thought of the case, she remembered his support and his admiring gaze as she translated the wisdoms. His eyes. So deep that she could lose herself in them. All her thoughts kept drifting back to him. Even when she thought of Mary and that she had invited her to dinner, Sidney came back in her mind. Charlotte decided to postpone the dinner until things were no longer so strange between Agent Parker and her. Which would probably never be, because, she had to admit, she was sure she wouldn't forget the sight of him. It would be better to write her report and hope that they ‘down in London’ would order her back. Even though she hadn't been here that long, the thought alone made her heart heavy.

What had happened? If she could, she would undo what had happened, but since that was not possible, she had to try to avoid him as much as possible. She should do her work and then go to her accommodation and have as little contact with him as possible. Yes, that would be the best thing. But her head didn't obey her again and so the facts about him slowly floated through her head, as if her brain wanted to show it to her in particular detail.

Agent Sidney Parker, reclusive, closed, yet a gentleman, helpful, and what made him all the more attractive, sensitive. At the thought of his attractiveness, his eyes, his thick eyelashes, which she had noticed especially when working too close to him at her little mirror. Those lips that told her things that were so unbelievable that she could only shake her head. Extra-terrestrial life! Then the wisdom from Sappo. These words, his voice, his... oh, she couldn't think about that! Everything mixed together and her head threatened to burst. She went straight to Mrs Griffith's house and locked herself in her room. No one would make her go out again. She should throw herself into work, she had to write her report and a letter to her parents. Then go over the facts for herself, as long as she was busy enough that she didn't have to think about him any more. Him. Sidney. 

Sidney stared at Mrs Griffith's house as he passed it and looked up at Charlotte’s window. Should he knock and talk again? Or was it really better to ignore it and especially her from now on? 

That would be difficult, because Mary had already said that she wanted to invite Charlotte... Agent Heywood to dinner, if the case was progressing even better. He walked on and briefly considered whether he should go to the tavern to have something strong to drink. He needed a double whiskey, or even better, two. Fortunately he decided against it, he needed a clear mind and went on to Trafalgar House, he should rather throw himself into work instead to drinking or thinking of her.

"Parker!" 

Shouted a voice he knew but hadn't expected.   
"What are you doing here?" 

When he turned towards the tavern and saw that not only Babington but Crowe and Denham were standing in the dust of the town and coming towards him, he was visibly pleased. He had never been so glad to see his friends, who believed even stranger things than he did. They would distract him from every thought of… what was not work. The three of them had dressed up, like the dandies of London, with canes, fur-trimmed collars and big hats. Yet they looked around as paranoid as they had done for as long as he had known them, as if they were in constant danger of being caught.

Sidney wondered for years by whom.

"Your sister-in-law wrote to us." Babington explained.  
"There's a ball!" insisted Crowe, as if Sidney didn't already know.  
"It's given by my aunt like every year!" Exclaimed Edward annoyed, after all the three of them had been there many times before.

At first they tried to persuade Sidney to eat something in the tavern and, above all, to drink, but he managed to convince them to go to Trafalgar House. He wanted to tell them a few things about the case, they knew a lot of such things and were his constant helpers. Of course he wouldn’t tell too much, somehow he didn't think it was right to do it without Charl... Agent Heywood, but he was sure she wouldn't come back today.

After he told his crazy friends, about the similarities between this case of the four young ladies to Tom’s case, the three of them got all excited. Not because the cases were so disturbing and strange, but because they were not new to them.

"You know about this?" asked Sidney in disbelief, dropping heavily onto the sofa in Tom's office, he thought Sanditon was the only strange place. 

"These unusual activities are really like a shopping tour, only much bigger than you thought." Babington was the only one who spoke in a sensible way.

Denham and Crowe, on the other hand, recounted what they believed in a noisy frenzy, reciting conjecture and half-knowledge as fervently as the facts Sidney and Charlotte had discovered as well.

"Why didn’t you tell me?" But before the three of them could start talking like startled chickens again, Sidney held up his hands to silence them. 

"Wait!"

"What?"  
"But..."  
"Why?"

"Charlotte needs to hear this too!" Sidney exclaimed, getting up and calling for Mary, who was sewing in the drawing room.

He asked her to get Charlotte as soon as possible, and after she left he went back to his friends. They looked at him. Denham with a knowing grin, Babington with a friendly nod and Crowe with irony written all over his face.

"What is it?" asked Sidney, wondering if they were teasing him.

"Charlotte?"

Nothing more was said. They waited. Sidney pretended not to know what they were talking about, but it was obvious to him that he must have said her Christian name.

"Is it the norm to call each other first names?" Denham asked, grinning even wider.

Sidney didn't try to talk his way out of it or say anything on the subject, instead asked a servant to bring tea, but five cups. He had to invite Mary along to the conversation so that Charlotte wouldn't be exposed to the strange looks and innuendos of his friends.

At the same time as the tea was brought into the room on a small serving table, the women appeared. All four men stood up and bowed, and all four looked at Charlotte. She smiled tentatively, but although she had intended to avoid looking at Sidney, their gazes locked for a moment. Time seemed to stop and her stomach suddenly grew warm.

"So you're Agent Heywood." Babington was reliable to defuse awkward situations, unlike the other two.

"Delighted to make your acquaintance." Denham took her hand and pressed a kiss on it. 

Sidney thought it was absolutely over the top and it made him clench his jaw because he didn't like that. He didn't like that at all! As always the worst of all was Crowe. Sidney bit his tongue not to say anything.

"I'm Crowe, and I think I'm the most intelligent and best-looking man here, so we'd be a good match. So if you don't want to… work with Parker anymore, here's my card."

Slightly irritated, Charlotte took the card with the strange name ‘lone gunmen’ written above the name Francis Crowe. Then she tried to put some distance between her and the men, especially Sidney by taking a few steps towards Mary. But the three strange gentlemen followed her like a shadow and Sidney had trouble making himself heard.

"Agent Heywood, please." 

She looked at him with her dark eyes, her cheeks regaining some colour under his gaze, and he could only avoid smiling at the sight by taking his eyes off her.

"My friends have been researching unexplained things for a long time."  
"Longer than Parker!" One of the idiots shouted and Sidney snorted loudly.

"They say there are other cases like ours, and I thought we should listen to them and then see if there are some more parallels to ours." Sidney looked at her with a penetrating look. 

‘Ours’, this little word did so much in her heart that she had to gasp for air and take her eyes off him for a moment. Of course, she had understood why he had looked at her that way. 'We are listening, but we won't give any details in the moment'. Without lifting her eyes, she nodded and pulled her notebook out of her pocket. 

He wasn't surprised that she always thought of everything, but what his friends had to say. Charlotte and Sidney kept looking at each other, not because of their confusing feelings for each other, which they were not yet willing or able to admit, but because of the similarities.

Strange lights on the horizon above old towns near the coast. People telling strange stories that the other inhabitants attributed to legends or a confused mind.

"But in the towns we have visited so far, there have been no deaths." Babington pointed out.  
"But people disappeared there every five years, too." Crowe noticed.  
"As far as you've been told." Sidney said, causing an offended groan.

"Did any victim come back?" Charlotte asked, but Babington just shook his head and Mary made a small, desperate sound.

"Not as far as we know." Denham admitted and smiled at Mary, his family had known hers for a long time and he felt for her.

"We should visit the crime scene." Crowe suggested.  
"No way!" exclaimed Sidney.

He would not tolerate any further questioning of the young ladies, they had already been through enough. Besides, Charlotte had found out the secrets of the dead women, they wouldn’t tell three strange men anything new.

"Come on Parker!" shouted Crowe.

"We've questioned them more than once." Sidney pointed out. "On further questioning Agent Heywood, found out that the deceased were seeing someone in secret."

"Not this crime scene!" The three shouted.

"What do you mean?" asked Charlotte and Sidney closed his eyes, shaking his head, knowing what his friend where about to tell her. She wouldn’t believe them anyway. 

"The crop circles, of course." Denham shrugged.  
"Crop circles?" Charlotte had never heard of it.  
"Patterns caused by their vehicle." Babington explained friendly.  
"Excuse me?"   
"Bigger than Sanditon itself." Crowe spread his arms over the model of the town.  
"I don't understand." She looked questioningly at Sidney, as did everyone else.

"There is no field nearby." Sidney admitted in a neutral voice, shaking his head slightly, as his eyes locked again with hers. 

Charlotte wondered when he would have told her about this field, or if that was too abstract even for his open mind. What was much more probable, was the obvious confirmation that he didn't trust her enough to tell her.

"Do you know for sure?" Babington asked.

"I checked it!" Sidney grumbled and he knew in that moment that Charlotte knew he had held back this information on purpose.

Hurt, she nodded and thought about what she should do now. Her feelings didn't matter. She had to say what she knew, maybe they' d find out the truth sooner.

"There is a small forest."  
"But to far away for the young ladies to walk." Sidney said, avoiding her gaze.  
"Maybe they were not walking."

"Oh, I like her!" Crowe cried.  
"She certainly doesn't mean a celestial vehicle!" exclaimed Sidney he had, after all, known her longer than Crowe.  
"Maybe they went on horseback?" Charlotte looked only to the lone gunmen.   
"We should go and see!"  
"When?" Sidney stood up, he wanted to finish this conversation, he really needed a drink at this look on her face. She was hurt!

"Tomorrow morning." Denham said, he knew his aunt wanted him at the ball when he was already in town.  
"At seven." Babington added.  
"Not by carriage, make sure we have four horses!" Crowe cried.  
"Five." 

Four pairs of eyes stared at Charlotte, but she stood up with a straight face, said her goodbyes to the gentlemen, avoided the look into Sidney’s face and let Mary accompany her out. Sidney knew he had to make amends.

"Oh this girl has spunk!" Crowe noticed and if looks could kill, he would have dropped dead.  
"My aunt would say it's not proper." Denham shook his head, amazed that he just met a female agent.  
"Your aunt has not yet arrived in the modern age." Babington grinned and watched out of the window. "She is a doctor."

"You know how special she is, right?" Crowe asked the question everyone had on his mind.

Sidney clenched his jaw, of course he knew! That was the damn problem.


	7. stepping in circles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are always new things Sidney learns about Charlotte that continue to amaze him. And in the forest Charlotte learns about secrets she never believed excisted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer then the others and yet I have not managed to add everything that I wanted to... sorry.
> 
> For the x-files fans, at the end there is a slightly changed version of a VERY important conversation between Scully & Mulder they had after Scully met the lone gunmen for the first time...

Sidney woke up with a headache. It served him right, he had to admit, as stupid as he had been! On the one hand, of course, he also meant the three bottles of whiskey that he and the 'lone gunmen' had drunk that evening, but above all, the encounter with agent Heywood at the cove had driven him to drink the most of all. Apart from the case they finally had to solve before the fifth victim was in danger, there were two things that gave him a headache. How was he going to fix it with agent Heywood and how was he going to get through looking for crop circles with her all day?

Fortunately, his servant told him after he had eaten a small breakfast that he could get five horses, but not a side-saddle. Inwardly, of course, Sidney was pleased because that would mean she couldn't come after all. With all due respect for her ability and her work, she was still a young unmarried woman with a reputation to lose, and she wouldn't dare to ride in a dress in a men’s saddle.

He was walking up the stairs to get his coat and work utensils when the door to the guest room opened and Agent Heywood came out. Surprised, he asked rather gruffly.

"What are you doing here?" 

Agent Heywood must have been expecting this question and stuck her chin out at him,  
"Oh, Agent Parker, this information I'd rather keep from you."

She walked past him and Sidney stared open-mouthed after her. His colleague was unexpectedly in his family's house and gave him such a cheeky answer. He knew he deserved it and of course understood it perfectly well, the anger in him wasn’t about that fact. Sidney was annoyed, because he found this cheeky Agent Heywood quite fascinating as well. 

"Wait, wait!" He called after her, and she stopped on the stairs and turned to look at him.

Her look said everything he was already aware of. He had hurt her by not telling her the information about the crop circles and he deserved her hatred, but she also had to understand that he couldn't trust her with everything yet. She would eventually write a report about him and everything that was said there would only play into the cards of those in London taking Sanditon away from him. And so he would never find his brother.

All of this was said only in his head, but she seemed to understand him, because if he hadn't imagined it, her eyes seemed to soften somehow and her sweet mouth as well. Was that the idea of a smile?

Sidney was still searching for words when Mary called out from the bottom of the stairs. 

"And does it fit, Charlotte?"

"What's this about?" asked Sidney and Mary answered simple. 

"Oh it’s not important to you."

That sounded as if it was a reproach, but he didn't have time to think about it, he got his things as planned and then ran down the stairs. With one look into Tom’s study he saw Charlotte packing her doctor's bag and putting her bonnet on, he was to disappoint her again and he felt slightly sick.

"Hey Parker!" Crowe called from the door and Sidney greeted him and the others outside. 

"I'm afraid there's no ladies' seat." Edward grumbled, looking at Sidney as if he was very disappointed in him.

Sidney shrugged, though of course he regretted it in a way, he was of course glad to get away from her gaze, examining and wounded. It was again Babington who tried to find the right words as Charlotte joined them outside.

"Agent Heywood, we were so looking forward to working with you." He walked up to her and put a great deal of regret into his next words. "But I'm afraid we don't have a side saddle."

But Charlotte smiled, stroked the horse standing next to Sidney's, held by one of the stable boys, and fastened her bag to the saddle.

"It doesn't matter."

She stood on the stepping-stone and as she lifted one leg to place it in the stirrup, you could see that her dress was not a dress but a pair of trousers. With an incredible graceful movement she swung herself onto the horse that all four men could not believe their eyes. And Sidney had to turn away so that she did not see his smile in awe as she explained.

"I don't feel safe in a side saddle anyway."

There was no movement on her face as she waited until the gentlemen sat up. Mary grinned and looked Sidney in the eye as he walked past her and held him by the arm. 

"I sewed her dress to a pair of Tom's trousers." 

She explained with a glint in her eye that he hadn't seen in a long time. It wasn't a look of sadness or pain, it was joy and Sidney's heart tightened for a moment. Not out of frustration or any negative feeling. It was a feeling of recognition. That Mary would ever give up a piece of Tom to anyone else in any way, meant not that she was slowly letting him go. It meant that she trusted that person so much to let her in. Sidney trusted Mary and her opinion, it had always been a signpost for Sidney and so he knew she felt the same way like he did deep inside. The only thing was he needed to behave like that as well.

He kept his composure and climbed on his horse and then the five of them set off. But to avoid causing a scene, they rode around Old Town on a direct route to the small wood. They rode quickly and arrived at their destination after just under an hour. They had to get off their horses to get through the lush bushes and small trees. At a small clear spot, they tied up the horses and walked, according to Denham, into the middle of the grove.

"When they do, they always settle in the middle, never on the side-lines," Babington explained.

"Where did you get your knowledge?" asked Charlotte, not making it clear whether she took Sidney's three friends seriously or not.

"Years of study." Denham explained.  
"Research in the country." Crowe admitted and Babington said.  
"In the records of my forefathers there have also been mentions of such phenomena and we have drawn our conclusions from that."

"So nothing is scientifically proven?" The three stopped and looked at Charlotte in disbelief, almost shocked, as if she had just told a dirty joke.

"A thoughtful question, for a scientist." Sidney noticed and smiled at her.

"I see."  
"But of course."  
"Indeed."

They continued their walk through the small forest and then saw that behind the next row of old spruce trees were no more. Just nothing. Denham held up the map he had brought from his aunt's house, which was so detailed that one could have basically given each tree a name. The three men stopped expectantly, staring in the direction where the forest seemed to end, and Sidney slowed down too. Only Charlotte kept going, holding her skirt, or rather the skirt-like leg of her trousers up a little so that she could step over the undergrowth, and was already getting dangerously close to the next row of trees, behind which everything had disappeared.

"Wait!" Sidney shouted and ran after her.

He hoped she would listen to him and not stubbornly going on just to prove that she had a mind of her own. 

"Watch out!" He cried, but Charlotte had already stopped and to avoid running into her, he stumbled past her. 

Instinctively she reached out and grabbed him by the upper arm and he grabbed her by the elbow. They both kind of bumped into each other and for a moment their eyes locked again before they released their gaze a moment to late and stared into the emptiness that opened up before them.

"Where is the forest?" she asked in shock and he felt her grip on his arm tighten.

Yes, he knew the feeling when one was made aware that inexplicable phenomena really existed. Unexplainable, dreamlike things merged into a dark fantastic reality. He looked at her and waited. Sidney didn't know exactly what he was waiting for, he knew that she wouldn't run away or faint, but he was curious to see what she would do next. She looked up at him. At that moment when their eyes met, he felt it. That connection that clicked into place. Her eyes spoke volumes, questioning understanding, childlike wonder, immense curiosity and the realisation that he had not lied about these things.

Only now did Charlotte seem to realise that she was still clinging to his arm and jerked her hand away. He immediately felt the loss of her small, strong hand and looked at her concerned. She nodded as the other three joined them, talking wildly.

"They were here!"  
"They parked here and did their tests!"  
"And before that they were further north!" 

Babington exclaimed, pulling out a map of the west coast of England and showing them a map where red dots showed the placed he and his friends thought the extra-terrestrial had been before. 

"There's no sign of anyone or a carriage having passed this way." Charlotte said as she knelt on the ground and felt the forest floor, apart from spruce needles, dry earth, small animal droppings, she found nothing.

"We should look at the pattern." Crowe called out and Charlotte looked up at Sidney, ready to make a comment, but her face took on a serious expression.

"What is it?"

She stood up and pointed upwards. Then she stooped down to her bag and dug out an oversized pair of opera glasses to look at the treetops.

"It looks like..."  
"Like what?" Sidney knew what treetops looked like near a 'park station', as his friends called it, but he wanted to hear her unbiased opinion.

"Burnt."  
"I know."  
"How come I don't know about it?"

Sidney grimaced, he didn't like that she was rubbing his mistake in his face so directly, but before he could try to defend himself, and Charlotte explained her question better. 

"When this phenomenon has supposedly happened so many times that it has never been officially announced in any way?" 

"The government is involved!" Crowe said, and Babington and Edward also fell into the same mode, shouting such things as,  
"It’s been a rigged game for decades!"  
"They have an agreement with them!"  
"It’s a worldwide conspiracy!"  
"The governments of the earth are working with them!"  
"They turn a blind eye to the victims and get a fair deal in return if..." Babington began to explain but stopped as he looked into Charlotte’s face.

"If what?" 

Charlotte asked seriously again and although Sidney knew that his friends' far too fanciful speeches were too much for her and that she probably dismissed them as nonsense, she continued not to show it, but took it all in and wrote it down in her little notebook. He only hoped that his friends wouldn't be discovered when she sent her report to London, because the fact that he was going down didn't have to mean to take them down with him.

"When the takeover of the world happens." 

Charlotte froze and the ‘lone gunmen’ wordlessly took their work utensils out of their bags, including a rope that Babington tied to one of the trees in the last row of trees and then set off with Denham to measure the size of the crater. Charlotte held on to the tree next to her and pushed herself as close to the edge as possible, staring into the depths. She couldn't explain what she was seeing and maybe couldn't even understand it. Her brain searched for solutions, compared it in her mind to things she knew, but there was nothing.

"It looks like someone has painted these patterns."  
"Yes." Sidney stood near by and listened to her, although the main thing he wanted to do was to keep her from falling.

"Like old cave painting." 

Sidney heard the fascination in her voice and he found it a touching moment that she shared her thoughts with him. She shook her head, the expression on her face showed so many different emotions. 

"Who did that and why?" She asked more to herself and continued to stare into the crater, the pattern seemed to scream their own questions and answers, but they did not understand the meaning. 

"The question is not who, but what!" cried Crowe. 

Charlotte noticed she had him almost forgotten and watched him as he threw a long rope with a weight at the other end into the hole, explaining that the tape was a measuring tape 100 feet long. It worked like a fish on a line. The weight would spin the crank in his hand until it encountered resistance, then he could tell how deep the crater was.

She knew that she needed something more tangible than the patterns in a hole in the ground that supposedly came from an extraterrestrial vehicle. Something that came from above and sat down here like a bird. The talk of crop circles, which appeared overnight and had a deeper meaning was fantastic enough, to find the whole thing in a small forest and to see it with her own eyes and to feel the incrediblity, scratched on a fantasy story that simply had no place in her head. She had the feeling that she could not apply what she had learned. In addition, the closeness to Sidney confused her, even if she tried not to think about the incident at the cove, she couldn't help feeling her colleagues' eyes on her. Without further ado she decided to do something about it and straightened up. Charlotte explained to Sidney that she would look for traces that would indicate that the victims had been here. 

"Since you draw better, you paint the pattern."  
"Yes ma’am." he said a little amused before he could think about it, and her gaze was stripped of its seriousness for a moment. But then her hurt impression was back in place and when she tried to move away, he held her back.

"Wait!" he waited till she turned to face him and the he finally said without further explaination "forgive me I didn’t tell you."

"I understand." 

She nodded and smiled lighty at him and he felt that it was the beginning of her trusting him again, he knew she did understand why he held it back. He would explain it to her, but now he felt she wanted to go.

"Here take this." 

Sidney didn’t want to let her go alone, but knew she needed some time alone and picked up a red woolen string and pointed to her arm. She lifted it towards him and he tied the string around her wrist, so careful not to touch her that he kept doing just that. A small swipe of the thumb, a tiny touch of his index finger. He heard her breath tremble and didn't want to expose both of them to this agony any longer, but it felt like an eternity before he had made a double knot.

"It's a kilometer long." Sidney gave her a whistle and she understood that this was for an emergency. "Please be careful." 

Charlotte nodded silently to him, not knowing whether her mouth was able to form words and pointed to the crater. Although she didn't like walking alone in this unknown place, she was glad that he was busy here, she had to be alone to be able to think more clearly. She went in the direction from which the young women would have come, if they had come here at all.

Facts. Only facts counted, she told herself at every step and shook off every inexplicable or fanciful thought, just like the loss of trust of her colleague and the confusion caused by the encounter and general closeness. The case. The case was important, she called her thoughts to order and put list after list in her head again. If she assumed that this, however, was the secret meeting point of the young ladies with a stranger who pretended to be in love, maybe she should search for a special place. Like a little hill, a blooming bush or a spot where the romantic heroines of the novels she had read would meet their secret lovers. But if she were a romantic heroine, she would look for a place for her secret meeting, which was hidden, yet so open that she could run away at any time. She let her gaze wander and continued walking in a rough arc around the crater, even if she was now far enough away not to hear or see Sidney and Crowe anymore behind the trees. Charlotte looked up into the sky and calculated where the sun would be in the afternoon and which places would then be bathed in a lovely light.

After a while she stopped, frustrated but a moment later the idea came to her to climb a tree to get a better view and as soon as she clung to a branch as thick as an arm, she saw it. It was just as incredible a sight as the crater and she pulled out the pipe and blew hard into it.

Sidney heard the high-pitched tone immediately, dropped everything and followed the string with a speed that he didn't even notice that Crowe was following him. He called her name in barely suppressed panic and he didn't care that he wasn't thinking about social standards, but only about her safety. 

"Charlotte!" He shouted when he got to the tree where her trace was lost and his heart jumped wildly when she answered him. 

"Here."

Smiling, he looked up at her and when she let herself slide down from the tree, he grabbed her waist and lifting her down. The sudden closeness made them both freeze for a moment, but since there wer more important things, they both immediately took a step back just before Crowe joined them.

"Follow me." Charlotte said and went in the direction she assumed to be the secret meeting point. 

"I would follow her anywhere." Sidney heard Crowe answer and he clenched his jaw until they reached a little hill and froze at the sight in front of them.

It was a small hill, covered with a soft carpet of spruce needles and moss. But the most incredible thing was that lush rose bushes bloomed on top of the hill, like a crown on the head of a king. An unusual place for roses and Charlotte had to hold her hand over her mouth and nose, as their scent was almost unpleasantly intense. Wordlessly, Sidney handed her his handkerchief and reached into his pocket to capture the image in front of him on paper, but he had dropped everything at the crater and groaned slightly in frustration. He didn't want to go back and leave her here alone, he had a vague sense of lurking danger. 

Whether she did it consciously or instinctively, Charlotte could not say, but after handing Sidney her notebook and charcoal pen so he could draw the rosy hill, she did not move more than two steps away from his side. An inexplicable sadness came over her and her heart contracted at the thought of having to stand there without him.

Crowe went back to give the others a message and get their things, he came back with the other two and the three of them took measurements of the hill of rose bushes and noted the location on their maps. Sidney sketched the place from all sides and once even unintentionally drew Charlotte into one of the pictures as she took samples from the floor. Still holding a hand with his handkerchief protectively over her nose, with flushed cheeks and a few strands of hair falling into her face in the light wind. Once she caught him looking at her and while the others weren't there he would have taken one of those opportunities to talk to her, but so he just smiled slightly at her and firmly resolved to do it later, when they had a minute to talk before the ball.

After another hour, Crowe asked Agent Heywood to come up the hill with him, saying that as a young lady she might see something that only women can see. But it didn't feel right. She stood indecisively at the foot of the hill and couldn't bring herself to go up to Mr Crowe.

Babington then called him down and Charlotte still heard his quietly spoken words.

"If I'm right in my assumption, it won't work with you up there."

When the hill was empty, she climbed slowly up, but it was hard and tiring, as if she were wading through swampy water with wet clothes. 

"I feel like I shouldn't be here." She said startled by these illogical words that burned in her lungs and yet were the truth.

"Then don't." 

Charlotte closed her eyes for a moment as Sidney's voice beside her made her somehow lighter, as if that what had been holding her back suddenly were not so strong anymore.

For whatever reason Sidney knew she couldn't climb that hill alone. The feeling of this lurking danger surrounded this place like glass shimmering in the sun. It literally vibrated and he was glad when Denham suddenly called out. 

"She will kill me!"

After the initial shock, everyone understood that he meant his aunt and his appearance at the ball, and as the light slowly dimmed, the four men declared that they were done for the day. Only when Charlotte was told by Babington that Sidney never missed the ball in memory of Tom, did she give in and packed her things in no time. They hurried back and by the time they got to Trafalgar House, Mary was already coming towards them and dragging Charlotte away as soon as she got down from her horse so quickly, that he didn't have a chance to talk to her a single word.

About an hour later, he and his friends were standing in the ballroom, looking at the guests spread loosely around the room. Suddenly, Sidney felt a tingling sensation next to him and he turned to the side. 

"Good evening." Charlotte breathed, and for some inexplicable reason he was suddenly unable to speak and his breathing hitched for a moment.

"Look at that!" 

Denham shouted and poked Sidney in the ribs before he could even say anything in greeting. He took Charlotte's hand and pressed another kiss to it, but Charlotte just stared at the muscle in Sidney's jaw that was clenching so beautifully.

"We all think you're a spellbound creature Agent Heywood" cried Crowe and Sidney feared that he would have to slap his friend if he spoke any more, but fortunately Mary scolded him and Crowe bowed apologetically and asked Mrs Parker for the first dance.

"Don't you listen to Crowe, although he's right, of course." Babington said,  
"I'm just glad you're with Sidney now, even when he didn’t deserve you. You are too special." 

Then he leaned closer and whispered in a conspiratorial tone.

"We will stop the extra-terrestrial from finding a fifth victim and the government to make deals with them any longer!" He bowed and than left.

Silence spread out between them, as Charlotte and Sidney stood there alone. 

"They admire you." And he meant not only his friends.

"They are nice, but your friends are the most paranoid people I have ever met. I don’t know how you could think that what they say is even remotely plausible."

"I think it’s remotely plausible that someone might think you’re very special and I don’t deserve you."

The last words he said as if he meant them and Charlotte looked up at him and felt her cheeks blushing and her heart pounding in her chest as he smiled at her with glittering eyes. Her knowledge of such things was based only on what she had read in novels, but in this very moment she just knew. She knew that this man in front of her, who offered her his hand to pull her onto the dancefloor in silent agreement, was the man she would love till the end of time.


	8. solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are still at the ball and they are dancing, and then...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for all your support and lovely comments!   
> I'm really happy you like it so far. And I'm ready for a x-files rewatch.

The realisation did not frighten her, Charlotte was rather surprised that she confirmed it as a fact, without the slightest doubt. Without expecting anything in return from him. No confirmation that it was right or an argument to the contrary. It was not a conscious decision, there was no reason. It was a fact, just as she was a woman and he was a man. 

Her gaze slid deeply into his eyes and she had the feeling that she could recognise the tenderness in them that he had tried to hide from her. Well, maybe not consciously hide, but simply not want to reveal. Even if it had shimmered through from time to time. Charlotte would like to know why. Was it really just because she was sent from London? Was that the only reason he couldn’t trust her? Or was it because she was a woman? Had a woman hurt him? Betrayed him? 

These and a thousand other questions swirled in her mind as she unconsciously moved her steps, to the music that faded to a soft accompaniment in the background. Like the gentle murmur of a brook. The soft breeze of a cool spring morning, blowing tenderly through the grass.

His face had a soft expression and she wanted to touch him so much that it almost hurt. Tears prickled in her eyes and she had to close them as he leaned a little closer so he wouldn't see. His breath tickled her temple and she felt his hand grow heavier on the small of her back. Like a glowing stone, it pressed her dress against her skin and the heat travelled over her whole body like the light feet of hundreds of butterflies. It lifted her heart and she felt so weak for a moment that her hand slipped from his shoulder until it stopped at his upper arm, seeking support in clawing the fabric of his jacket. It was so warm that her breaths became shorter as Sidney spread his fingers and let his hand slide slowly to her side. His thumb grazed her waist and it was such a thrilling feeling that she couldn't help it, she lifted her gaze back to his eyes. They were so dark and they spoke to her. But like the riddle of the inexplicable patterns in the crater in the forest, she could not understand what language they spoke. What were these eyes trying to tell her?

The dance demanded a turn, but Sidney was unable to push Charlotte away from him. He felt that he would not be able to endure the loss, even if it only lasted half a three-quarter beat. The sun-like warmth that emanated from her claimed that he stood close to her. The glow in her eyes seemed to him like the light that a flower reaches out for. She was the light and yet a just blossoming flower. That stretched out towards him, she was the nectar of life and the urge to taste it was so strong that he bent down to her as if by magic. Her breath caught, she was shocked by his closeness. And she was right! It wasn't proper. The grip of her hand that was in his tightened and to calm her down he pressed it to his heart without thinking about it. Her eyes asked him a thousand questions and he wanted to answer them all. But not here! He knew they had to go. It seemed to him as if they were moving in a dream, viscous and unreal and yet she was the only truth he knew. She had cast her spell and now he was her prisoner. He had to free himself from it. Now! Sidney closed his eyes and took a step back. 

And as if he had shattered a surface out of sparkling glass into a thousand tiny splinters of light, he could see more clearly again.

Charlotte felt the loss of his nearness painfully and gasped audible. He also sucked in the air greedily, looked down at her and then turned his head to the side almost as if it were against his will.

"Come with me."

Sidney said tense and then pulled her to the side of the ballroom. Charlotte’s heart fluttered she was so nervous, as he tugged her to one of the nearby alcoves and pushed her through the curtain. Her back prickled as she felt him behind her, she felt him leaning closer, as soon as they were alone. His breath tickled the sensitive delicacy of the back of her neck and goose bumps spread all over her body. Charlotte closed her eyes to gather herself, breathed in. Maybe they should go, although the urgent need to be kissed by him right now was almost essential. She turned to him and searched his eyes. They were even darker than before, full of passion and concern. So he was worried as well if this was really the right place, but maybe exactly so lost in this feeling as she was. This was so beautiful! Charlotte felt happy and smiled, opened her mouth to ask him…

"It’s the roses! They cloud the mind."

His words hit her like a slap in the face.

Sidney saw her blushing face freeze, disappointment lay on it. Her mouth formed words but she kept silent. Then she withdrew before his eyes. In fact, her eyes and mouth closed. That little crease appeared between her eyebrows, and for a tiny moment he thought her face twisted in pain, but it was over so quickly he could have imagined it. He could watch the spectacle of emotion on her face for hours, but it was only the blink of an eye. Then she opened her eyes, but refused to look at him. Inhaled through her slightly parted lovely lips, nodding. Then she took a step back to maintain the decorum of distance. Of course he knew he was standing too close, but he regretted that she had done so. 

There were probably millions and millions of questions running through her pretty head again, because even though she looked somewhat normal again, there was still a big question mark over her features. Sidney had to smile, how he would have loved to stroke her forehead and find out what questions she was trying to answer. He loved to watch her think, it was fascinating. But since she didn't say anything, he explained his plan.

"I'll get the others and you go to the office with Mary."  
"I can go alone." She snapped and he was a little taken aback at her tone.

He gritted his teeth to avoid saying something that would maybe upset her even more and just tried to appeal to her reason.

"I know. But tonight you are Miss Heywood, not Agent Heywood."

Sidney tried to smile, but her gaze pierced him like a sharp knife, stabbing him in the heart. He opened his mouth, but she was already pushing past him. But before she could slip through the curtain, he held her by the arm. They stood there rooted to the spot. Her shoulder pressed against his arm. They turned their faces to each other. He looked down at her, her long lashes painting a shadow under her eyes, but she did not lift her gaze up to him. 

"I’m looking for her."

Then she was gone. Annoyed with himself, he made a face. He should talk to her later. First they had to talk about the case, all six of them. And quickly.

About twenty minutes later they were sitting in their fine clothes in Tom's study. The men were leaning against the walls and tables. Mary sat on the sofa and Charlotte next to her, who was strangely quiet as she took off her evening gloves and laid them beside her on the sofa back.

"I think the place Agent Heywood found today is the key," Sidney explained.  
"The smell was penetrating and almost unbearable." Babington stated and everyone murmured in agreement.

"The smell of roses also surrounded the dead woman," Charlotte said.

"All four, that's what all the witnesses said independently." added Sidney, waiting to see if she looked at him, but she continued to look in front of her as if she was thinking.

"What colour?" asked Mary, and Charlotte grasped her hand to comfort her.  
"They were light pink roses, Mary. Not lilies."

Sidney credited Charlotte for trying to get Mary's hopes up and smiled over at her, but she refused to look at him. Then he went on to explain what he was thinking.

"Anyway, the smell was so strong that it almost made us sick. Hours later we all," he pointed to his friends, "still had the smell in our noses."

"It is intoxicating and numbing." explained Crowe, bowing to Charlotte and continuing, "I think that's why I couldn't control my tongue and said the things I said."

"That's why you wanted her to go up the hill with you?" asked Denham, who didn’t want to wait for an answer and then reported what he had found out.

"By the way, the hill wasn't always there." 

He held up his aunt's map, showing them what the little forest had once looked like. Then he slid a piece of parchment-like paper over it and everyone gasped audibly. Not only was the hill visible, which had not been there before, but also a huge circle in the middle, which was supposed to represent the crater, around it laid the circular ring of the remaining forest.

"The ratio is one to three, so I mean the area of the crater is three times the area of the remaining forest."

"It appears to be a smaller vehicle," Crowe noticed. 

He showed another map from another location for comparison, but where they had found this phenomenon in a cornfield. Crowe reported, the damage in this location had only been superficial. The cornstalks had been arranged in strange musters and not pressed deep into the earth like in the forest. It reminded Charlotte of something and she murmured the thought aloud.

"A shell in the sand." 

Mary took her hand. "What do you mean, dear?"

Charlotte looked up at Mary for a moment and then asked Crowe.  
"We can now reconstruct what it looks like, right?"

"What?" Denham asked, but was interrupted.

"God, you're so brilliant!"

Sidney called out in the same moment without thinking and their gazes touched briefly before he took a piece of drawing paper from Tom's utensil cupboard. He began a drawing that was every bit as brilliant as his brother's and only reminded it was a recording of a crime scene with his unadorned writing. While he wrote, the rest wanted to hear the explanation of Charlotte, who was still flustered of his words. 

"Well... if you press a shell into wet sand and carefully remove it, its pattern remains visible. The harder and deeper you press it into the sand, the more precise the imprint."

She glanced briefly at Sidney, who was still leaning over the drawing. Without looking up, he said, 

"Judging from the accuracy of the imprints, which I have not yet been able to paint completely, I'd say this..." 

"This vehicle is quite heavy," Crowe interrupted.  
"Or it's been there longer then elsewhere." Sidney answered.

"Or more often." 

Sidney looked over his shoulder at Charlotte and it was as if they were communicating without words. He stretched his chin almost imperceptibly, to show her she should go on. And she said what they were both thinking.

"It’s the only place where it can come back." 

"Because, unlike the corn giants whose patterns were destroyed, it is the only place..." continued Sidney.

"They recognised." finished Charlotte and the two looked at each other as if they were alone in the room.

"So that means they will come back, no matter what?" Mary woke them both from their spell and Charlotte just nodded.

"I believe so."

"So when we not find out who the next victim is, you can save her there?" Mary got a helpful expression on her face "and maybe everyone else they hold captive?"

"I really hope so." Sidney said with a light smile, he didn’t want to put their hopes to high, if they fail.

"The other thing is..."

Sidney started and took Charlotte's notebook in which he had drawn the rose bush. He searched until he found the page where Charlotte was not pictured and held it in front of everyone, not wanting to be distracted by any speculation. It was hard enough to concentrate after that dance with her.

"I felt a bit woozy myself and well... almost like I was in a state of rapture". 

He didn't say what was still on his mind, he didn’t want to admit to everybody what he could hardly admit to himself. 'I had been about to kiss my colleague in the middle of the dance floor. This woman, who is already confusing me, even without the scent of roses.'

When Charlotte wanted to take her notebook from him, Sidney held it for a moment longer until he noticed the thin red string around her wrist. The one he had tied with his own hands that morning. It had been hidden under her glove, but now he saw it and it was obvious that it meant something. Only what? His heart made a strange loop as a thought crossed his mind, but he shook it off. While he handed her the book, he hoped she wouldn't immediately find the drawing of herself. What would she think then? Sidney was quite distracted by that thought, he had somehow lost it, until Mary asked him to continue. He moved away from the ladies and leaned against the mantelpiece.

"None of us smells of roses. But the scent lingered on the victims for days after their deaths, it means the victims must have been in the roses." Sidney emphasised the word ‘in’ and everyone nodded in agreement, except Charlotte, who knew he wasn't finished.

"But that's difficult, because they also have thorns."  
"Many and quite thick!" 

Crowe cried in between but everyone looked at Sidney intently and before he spoke any further, an unsettling silence fell over them. Charlotte got goose bumps as she explained that there were no thorn injuries on the victims. 

"Exactly, that's why I think the scent was injected into them," Sidney concluded with an intense look at Charlotte, who nodded.

"With a needle right in the heart."

Mary sobbed, pulled away from Charlotte and went to the window to look out into the night.

"Alright," Denham then stood up, "it’s time. I'll go to my aunt's and get all weapons I can find, I think we should be prepared."

"I'll go with you!" Babington exclaimed eagerly, clearly wanting to accompany him to leave.

"We'll make a probability calculation of the dimensions of the craft, so we maybe knew where to look when it approaches. It should be visible in the sky for us, when we know what we look for." Crowe reasoned as he packed his things together.

"We should also go back to the forest at dawn and see what's under the hill." 

Charlotte explained, looking at Mary with a serious expression, fearing that there might be a grave under the bush of roses, as people used to do in the old days. The idea that the crime was something non-human just didn’t felt real, she was determined to think the murderer was a human being.

"We need to examine the hill again more closely anyway," Sidney said with a quick glance at Charlotte, because when they were climbing it in the afternoon he had a flash of inspiration that he had suppressed until their dance earlier. 

"Maybe we'll find evidence of the killing weapon there." He said instead his secrets thoughts.

"Good, we'll go now and prepare everything for tomorrow." Babington gestured to his colleagues to leave now. Turning to Sidney, he said. "Then we'll meet you two at the love hill in the morning." 

"Wait," Sidney grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "Why do you call it that?"

"It’s obvious," his eyes wandered to Charlotte who was talking quietly to Mary "Agent Heywood couldn't go up until you were by her side."

"Really?" Sidney puffed almost loud enough for the others to hear, it would mean it was... What?

"Sidney," his friend shook his head, "the way you're looking at her all the time..."  
"I don’t!"  
"You do." Babington patted his friend on the chest and gave him the advice, "don't mess it up, she's amazing!"

As if he didn’t know.

After his friends had gone, Sidney left the two women alone for a moment, standing together in quiet conversation by the window, and went to the kitchen to get some sweet biscuits. When he came back into the study, he saw Charlotte standing tensely in his place by the fireplace and Mary bent forward on the sofa, as if they were thinking hard. Sidney handed out the sweet, chunky pastries on small plates and when he handed them to Charlotte, she accepted them with that adorable little smile that always threw him for a loop.

"What are you two thinking?"  
"Charlotte has a solution."

"No solution." she immediately denied, but then replied under Sidney's gaze "more like a summary that feels kind of weird and yet somehow right."

"Go on." He sat down next to Mary and waited.

"We have a deadly weapon as thin as a filigree needle." The other two nodded and Charlotte tried to put her excited thoughts into words.

"Roses and lilies are the flowers that symbolise love, we have love wisdoms, girls who have met secretly with someone they were in love with."

Mary twisted her face in pain, she didn’t want to think that Tom ever loved someone else instead of her, and after a silent moment Charlotte continued.

"Maybe this needle is a quill of some kind."

An ice could shiver ran through Sidney and he knew they both shared the same thought and she knew it too, by the look on her face. He continued as she kept silent.

"A needle drenched in the scent of love, paints or writes words of love under the skin of people… in love."

"Love gets under your skin," Charlotte murmured, and Sidney stared into her eyes, that was how he had felt it too.

"I read that somewhere once." she shrugged but their eyes were locked and the time seemed to disappear.

"You're in danger!" cried Mary horrified, breaking the spell between the two again.

"What, but why?" Charlotte was completely taken aback.

"You are the same age and you slept one night in the ‘school for young ladies’." Sidney said and stood up, not knowing whether he could approach her or not his heart was hammering in his chest. 

"But I..."

"You stay here, I'll prepare the room." Mary didn't show any further emotion and disappeared from the room so quickly that they couldn't even protest.

Silence stretched out.

"And we were at the hill." Sidney said softly, taking a step towards her.  
"So what?"  
"See." 

Touching her arm lightly as he stepped closer. Their eyes locked and he grabbed her wrist. Charlotte’s breath hitched and he felt her pulse throbbing under his touch. He could barely breath, his eyes dropped down and he tried to tear the string off, but she withdrew her arm.

"The roses have clouded your mind too." His quiet voice tinged with regret and pain, and his eyes told her the same.

"I had a cloth in front of my nose." 

Her tone was stubborn, and yes, he liked that about her too. Sidney shook his head, smiling down on her. Her eyes had the same expression like in the morning on the stairs, wounded. Why was that? She was so breath taking. Beautiful blushed cheeks, her intelligent wide deep brown eyes. The question on her face for which he doesn’t know the answer.

Only when the deeper meaning of what she had said seeped into his brain could he breathe again.


	9. confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary is very confused and puts Charlotte and Sidney in a very precarious position.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day!

Air. 

Sidney hadn't realised he was holding his breath. The string... that would mean, yes, what? He realised he was standing quite close, but he couldn't bring himself to move away. Her closeness warmed him. Maybe it was the fire in the fireplace, but he knew he had to stay there. Preferably even closer. What should he do?

He searched her eyes for an answer. They had the same look as in her room when they were working too close in front of the mirror. Probably he should move away from her, but it was just not possible. At the same moment as he was about to reach for her wrist again to have an excuse why he was still standing there, she lifted her arm and their fingers brushed. They both gasped at the contact. Froze for a blink of an eye. Silence spread out. But neither pulled the hand away. Slowly Charlotte turned her hand, so his long fingers could slid over hers to her cold palm. Her fingers curled around his and Sidney tightened his grip. Both stared on their joined hands. A warm trail rose up Charlotte's arm, over her shoulder and exploded in her chest. She felt her heart stumble and then beat deeper and faster. Slowly she lifted her gaze. His lay heavy on her and she felt as if they had to make a difficult decision. Whether now or later, she didn't know but it brought tears to her eyes. 

Her breath was shallow and fast, her gaze was like the one in the ballroom and he knew nothing more. Nothing. Only one thought filled him. Should he let it happen? Should he let himself be vulnerable again? He didn't know her well enough to trust her. He didn't want to make another mistake and have to pay dearly for it!

Her face came closer. Or was it he leaning in? Her quickening breath was already tickling his lips. Sidney saw her gaze drop, was she only realising now, what was about to happen? Was this really happening? He looked at her lips and then sought her gaze again. One last glance and her eyes fluttered shut. She wanted it too! Oh that was... his heart swelled, his lips tingled, lightly he touched her waist. Their breaths mingled, vibrated in the air. He tugged her a little closer. The pressure of her hand intensified. He could already feel the delicate touch of her lips on his. His whole face was prickling.

"So the room is ready." Mary called as she came back into the room and the two of them pushed apart. 

Charlotte couldn't really but just pressed herself harder against the mantelpiece. Sidney turned away, for Mary it looked like he wanted to pour himself a brandy. And he did. Embarrassed that she had almost caught them.

"Oh, my dear, you look flustered." Mary took Charlotte by the hand.  
"Your hand is cold."

Sidney looked over his shoulder and his eyes met Mary’s, she was worried about her. Charlottes face was flushed and her eyes fixed on Mary’s face. Sidney clenched his jaw, jealous that Mary could hold her like this and pull her out of the room. 

"Good night Sidney." 

Mary said in a nervous voice, she was afraid that something was about to happen to Charlotte. This lovely young woman, who was about to conquer the heart of Sidney, if only he would let her. She nodded to him over her shoulder, and saw his worried face as he watched them leave the room. Oh, it had already happened! Mary knew he would fall for her. A small smile escaped her, but he didn’t return it.

"Good night." 

Sidney pressed between his teeth and wished Charlotte would look back at him. Only just once, one small look would do! He needed to know if she was alright after his unforgivable behaviour! ‘Please!’ he screamed in his head. His heart hammered in his chest, he held his glass so tightly, and maybe it would burst in the next moment.

A breath of relief escaped him as Charlotte turned her face to him and a beautiful little smile arose on the lips he had almost tasted. He regretted it, but was also glad that Mary had come back. They needed to focus on the case, they needed to catch the killer and save the victim. He supressed the opportunity Charlotte would be the one. The shadow from before lay in her eyes as she turned to Mary much too quickly and Sidney remembered the moment in the alcove. Taken aback, as he understood what that meant, he took a sip and watched her walking away.

Charlotte didn’t want to think of what almost happened, she tried to think of something else. She understood that Mary had needed some time to her for a moment, but wished she had never left Tom’s study. The moment as Sidney had touched her wrist had changed something between them. The handholding had been so beautiful and she had hoped he would have kissed her. Again. And the second time he didn’t. So that meant something. She nodded, as she believed to understand, why he didn’t. It was obvious, Charlotte still saw his look on his handsome face before her eyes as she had smiled at him, and this look said more then all the words in the world. It was an odd feeling of pain in her chest and she went cold inside.

Holding back her embarrassing and obvious feelings she walked next to Mary up the stairs to the guest room, she had used the whole day for changing her clothes. The bed had been made anyway, the bathtub she had bathed in before the ball had been removed and her dress from this morning hung on the cupboard. Three candles Mary had placed around the room. One on the small desk in front of the window, one next to the bed and one on the washstand.

"Thank you, Mary." She said and smiled at Mary, who was fortunately too much in her own thoughts to see what was going on with Charlotte.

"Of course." 

She nodded and gave Charlotte a sign to turn, she would help her out of her ball gown. Mary needed to do something to distract her from the awful pictures in her head and Charlotte seemed to understand. That was what Mary liked the most of this incredible young woman. She seemed to sense what the people around her needed. Mary was sure Charlotte also knew instinctively what Sidney needed and maybe would be surprised, when she would discover that it’s her, he needed the most, even when he didn’t admit it to himself. Mary smiled by this thought and was finished with the buttons faster than expected. 

After Sidney finished his second glass, he was calm enough to walk to his room. The thought that Charlotte would sleep in the guest room a few feet away from him, made him quite tense, and he couldn’t resist stopping in front of her door. He thought about something he could use as an excuse to knock, but he didn’t as he heard Mary was still with her. Closing his eyes he walked past the room, before the door was ripped open.

"Sidney!" Mary yelled and he saw the panic in her eyes, he only needed three steps to be in the room.

"What is it?" he shouted and froze as he saw Charlotte stood there only in her undergarment.

"Oh!"  
"Damn!" 

They turned around in shock. But Mary seemed to be completely in panic and tugged on Sidney's arm. Was she completely out of her mind?

"Mary, what are you doing?" He asked shocked but Mary pulled him around, her voice drenched in tears.

"Look!" 

A loud moan escaped him, as he saw the back of Charlotte. He couldn’t move.

"What is it?" 

Charlotte asked nervous but Sidney could not bring himself to say something, he just stepped closer. He saw her shiver and the urge to pull her to his chest was overwhelming. He clenched his hands in fists to stop himself from doing so.

"Tell me." Charlotte’s voice broke him, he heard the fear in it and he tried to calm her.  
"I need to take a look."

Mary cried silently but gave him one of the candles and he stepped closer. He lifted his hand, as if he was about to touch Charlotte’s shoulder, but he was not allowed to do so. His hand hovered over her skin for a moment, before he was able to pull his hand back and put it behind his back. Agent Heywood was breath taking beautiful in her undergarment, even more than on the ball. He had taken her in with one glance and yet he noticed all the little things. Her shining eyes, with the long thick lashes. The odd little curl leaning against her neck. The red string still around her wrist. He shook his head and tried to block out everything, focus on the case before his eyes. 

"Describe it." She said.

Charlotte seemed to have herself under control again, but he could see the goose bumps on her naked upper arm and her hands clenched into fists.

"Please."

Oh, this voice! 

"It’s a red area under your left shoulder blade."

Shakily, she inhaled.

"I can’t see…." he didn’t end the sentence.

"Take the loupe out of my bag." 

Once again Sidney was amazed how quick she could be professional again. He bent down to her bag and took out the loupe. It was a difficult thing, to get close enough to see something, but of course keep enough distance and to be careful not to burn her.

Charlotte felt his breath on her skin as if it were the fire of the candle. Although she tried to stand as still as possible, she couldn't suppress a shiver.

"Mary!" 

He seemed to be giving Mary instructions and Charlotte felt her cool hands on her and gasped. In her head her feelings and what almost happened downstairs were playing tricks on her and for a brief moment she had really imagined this fingers were his. But no. His were warmer and longer and the skin on the sides a little brittle. 

"I can't see anything erm... suspicious!" Sidney tried to conclude without showing her his fear and straightened up.

"Please I have to see myself." Charlotte begged.  
"But..." Sidney started but was interrupted.  
"I need a mirror."  
"Alright." Mary cried and run out of the room.

Charlotte hadn't thought Mary would leave her alone again with Sidney, especially not in this situation. It suggested she was really confused. But that wasn't what worried her, Sidney’s breath on the back of her neck did.

This really couldn't be true! Mary had run out of the room so fast that Sidney didn't realise what was happening until it happened. He was maybe a step behind Charlotte, but as before in the study he couldn't move away from her, who would turn away from a warming fire? 

Sidney knew it was indecent, but still he did nothing and she did not tell him to go away. He continued to stare at the red spot below her left shoulder blade, not daring to do anything else. Her breath quickened, he heard it and her body moved in the same rhythm. That beauty spot just above the shoulder blade moved in his field of vision and he couldn't help it and raised his gaze. It travelled to her spine and slowly down her back. Over the thin fabric of her undergarment, caught on the band around her waist that held the petticoat in place. 

Charlotte breathed more shallowly and he looked up and the sight was even worse for him. On her graceful neck lay a single small innocent curl, but for him it was a symbol of seduction. He wanted to lift it with his finger and press his lips to the warm spot beneath. It was a call he could not resist. His mouth went dry and he licked his lips. The moment he leaned closer, her face twitched almost imperceptibly towards her shoulder, and that finally released him from her spell and he turned around with a jerk. 

Sidney was deeply ashamed. What was wrong with him? That he forgot his manners when he was near her, even though he didn't want to do anything wrong. He took another step towards the door.

"Please, forgive me!" He said embarrassed and heard her breath hitch, but she didn’t answer.  
"Please, I just… I don’t know…"

After a moment of silence Charlotte said quietly, perhaps more to herself.  
"Mary shouldn't have gone." 

"I couldn't agree more." He could barely hear her response.  
"This it isn't proper. All of this."  
"Of course." Still, he couldn't leave the room.  
"You… you looked at me longer than you should have!" Her voice only a silent whisper.  
"I assure you it wasn’t deliberate on my part." He answered in the same low voice.  
"It wasn't." 

Silence.

Both remembered the same conversation down at the cove and could hardly supress a chuckle. Sidney cleared his throat. 

"What is your excuse?" Charlotte asked.  
"Excuse me?" Amusement filled his voice, how could she ask such a question?  
"Am I the first woman you have seen like this?" She murmured and he kept silent. 

It was shocking. How could she be able to ask this? Sidney was kind of proud of her that she was brave enough to ask this question, but it was not proper and he really wished Mary would come back. It was only a few minutes but it seemed to him as if it were hours ago she went away. 

"No." He answered honestly and couldn’t believe that he did.

The ugly sting of jealousy went through Charlotte and she didn’t understand in the first moment why she got such a bitter taste on her tongue. He knew. So was he married once, or was he like some of her colleagues in London? Who meet with woman they paid for love?

"Ahh." she couldn’t bring herself to ask further.

"But... the most unexpected." Again Sidney felt shabby for his answer, but it was the truth. 

This statement didn’t need an answer and they didn’t spoke any further. Hearing clothes rustle he went to the door to wait outside her room. He leaned against the wall and pushed his head against it, closing his eyes. His memory showed her beauty in all aspects and he moaned silently. It was too late, this sight would never leave his mind ever again.

Mary came back and was glad to see Sidney outside the door and Charlotte with her coat on over her undergarment. If anyone had seen that they were in one room and she barely clothed it would have been a big scandal. Now Mary burst into the room gave Charlotte the mirror and Sidney stayed in the hallway. Charlotte bent to be able to see the red spot on her back, while Mary held the candle and then Charlotte sighed in relief.

"It's a bit sore from the dress or the corset, nothing bad."  
"Are your sure dear?"  
"Yes, believe me, it’s nothing." Charlotte assured Mary, who began to cry in relief. 

Sidney wanted to go into her room, but waited outside till he heard Charlotte at the door behind him.

"I gave her something to calm her down." She said with a worried expression on her face.

Their eyes locked for a moment and there was so much he wanted to say, but kept silent. It seemed to him that they talked without saying a word. After a little moment he gave her a small smile and she nodded in silent agreement, without knowing if they agreed to keep quiet about what happened and almost happened, or if they just put it off until later.

Later, Charlotte lay in the bed and could not sleep. She tossed and turned and couldn't block out the feelings raging inside her and Sidney was on her mind all the time. His eyes told her so much and yet did not speak to her. Her body was hypersensitive, as if she were going to be sick. She was so warm that she threw back the blanket and then she froze again. This inner restlessness drove her mad. As the morning dawned she got up. She twisted her arm to check if everything was alright with her shoulder and looked in the mirror that Mary had got for her. There was nothing left to see. It was neither red nor did it hurt. She moaned when she thought about having to walk around in a corset all day, but surrendered to her fate and got dressed.

Sidney could think of nothing but Charlotte. Strangely, the image of her in her undergarment immediately slipped from his mind, but not her face. Her questioning eyes, her sensual mouth. How much he wanted to kiss her, it was driving him crazy. He had to do something about it.

First he got up and washed his face with the water that had cooled overnight and then went to the window. When he looked out, he saw a rider come past the window and immediately recognised that it was Agent Heywood. He knew where she was going, was annoyed by her carelessness and ran out of the room.

Less than fifteen minutes later he was in the saddle, riding after her as fast as he could. He hoped it really was her stupidity and not some secret call. No, there had been no indication that it was anything other than simply a sore from the corset she had been wearing all day. Nevertheless, he spurred his horse on to run faster. No sooner had he arrived at the place where she had left her horse, than he slipped off the horse and ran through the bushes on a direct path to the hill. He saw her from a distance and called out to her to wait. After a few more steps she did so and turned to him.

"What are you thinking?" 

Sidney roared and he saw her flinch briefly as he walked towards her with firm big steps that would usually intimidate anyone. But Charlotte didn't back down an inch and just looked at him angrily.

"Who do you think you are, talking to me like that?" she shouted back and took another step towards him.

They stood there almost nose-to-nose, trembling with rage and the inflamed feelings of the previous evening. As they were both silent, Charlotte just gasped, turned and was about to walk away when Sidney grabbed her by the arm and pulled her around.

"What?" she snarled at him, confusion and pain sparkling in her eyes, not because he was hurting her, but because she knew he didn't feel as she did.

"We said we'd all go together..."  
"We didn't. Now, let me go!"  
"You're not going there alone."  
"You don't get to tell me what to do!" she shouted, breaking away. "Besides, you're here now."

Of course, after a few steps he had caught up with her again, holding her by the arm, but this time shoving himself in her way.

"But you came here alone."  
"So what? That's my case too, Agent Parker!"  
"What the hell is wrong with you?"  
"What's wrong with me?" she puffed in annoyance and pushed her chin up "Nothing."

She avoided his gaze and tried to push past him, but he blocked her path. They were almost at the hill and he just wanted to wait for the others to protect her better.

"You could be one of the victims!"  
"Nonsense!"  
"Charlotte, don't be so stubborn, we're waiting for the others!"  
"I always have to wait. Wait, wait, wait! I don't want to wait until finally... it happens!" she shouted and briefly slipped away from him, the thought flashing in his mind that she wasn't only talking about the case.

"Stop now!" 

She didn’t listen and walked closer to the hill.

"Charlotte, please!" He said in a soft voice, hoping to bring her to her senses and managed to corner her between one of the spruce trees and him.

"Why should I?" She turned her face away from him.

"I don't want to lose you too."


	10. love hill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are in the forest... but not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for your lovely comments and your support.  
> Sorry for the delay, but hope you like it anyway.

Charlotte looked at Sidney surprised and couldn't believe what he had just said. He didn't want to lose her too, because she was to him what Tom was to him? Someone from his family? A sister? That hurt, even more than the fact that he didn't want to kiss her, now it was finally clear to her why. She gasped, nodded briefly and looked to the side, he was just too close for her to hide her feelings for him. Charlotte knew she had to get away from him and turned away, but felt him take half a step towards her. As she flinched almost imperceptibly, he stayed where he was.

"Charlotte." his voice was strangely distorted.  
"I’m not going to the hill."   
"Good."

They stood there in silence. For a full minute.

"I don't want you to get hurt." he explained calmly, somehow sensing he hadn't made himself clear about what he felt.  
"Yes, thank you."

He chuckled briefly and she looked at him with burning eyes, between which that little thinking wrinkle showed like an accusation that he had apparently confused her even more. 

"Stop thinking."

"Please what?" Her face looked like a single question and her eyes widened as he reached out for her and moved closer. 

"You think too much." Sidney smiled down at her and Charlotte wasn't sure what that meant. 

Her eyes fluttered like her heart with confusion. What did it mean, why shouldn't she think? What was he trying to tell her? He took another step closer and she had to lean her head back to keep looking at his face.

"Charlotte." he breathed her name as if he was trying to be very careful, as if saying her name aloud would lose its magic.

His gaze bored into hers. Deep into her heart and as if he could read what was written there, she suddenly felt terribly vulnerable and more exposed than the night before. Tears came to her eyes but she could not take her eyes off him. He came even closer and she felt the tension slowly seep into the forest floor, when she felt his fingertips against the tender skin of her wrist. Shivering she breathed in and was about to close her eyes.

"What is this?" her voice was a barely audible breath.  
"You know what it is." Sidney smiled slightly and tilted his head closer, he really needed to kiss her or he would go mad.  
"No." She shook her head very light and he saw her gaze had settled on something behind him.

Suddenly he was all aware of his surroundings, he felt cold goose bumps arise on his skin, her pulse throbbing under his touch. The hair on the back of his neck stood up and he felt the skin on his head prickling. All the sensors screamed danger! He had to protect Charlotte, he looked at her face, but she didn't take her eyes off what was behind him, he saw her tracking it with her gaze. Her face had lost its blush, the crease on her forehead had deepened. Slowly he turned his face over his shoulder, but couldn't see anything immediately. 

"Among the roses." she whispered and his gaze focused on what was visible among the lush blossoms.

Something grey, maybe it was finally what he had been looking for all these years. The evidence of everything the files in his basement office were trying to prove.

"An animal?" she asked, but he heard in her voice that she knew it wasn't.  
"I don't think so."  
"Let's go see."   
"Under no circumstances are you going there." he grumbled.

He turned to leave and his hand slipped from her wrist.

"I’m not in danger."  
"But..."  
"But nothing, I'm going with you."  
"Charlotte!"  
"Don't think I’ll let you go alone!"

God, she was so stubborn! He would have loved to grab and tied her to the tree, but the thought alone made him forget for a moment what lay ahead of them. He had to concentrate. Sidney clenched his jaw but knew he couldn't force her stay there by the trees and slowly moved a step forward. Charlotte walked at the same pace as him and her hand lightly touched his. He felt better with her by his side, he could take better care of her, or so he hoped.

Slowly they approached the hill. There was a rustling among the roses and each of their steps caused a soft cracking of the branches on the forest floor. Their hearts were pounding and Sidney felt the adrenaline pumping in his veins. He hoped they would not frighten the creature, hoped it would keep its fingers or claws off Charlotte. No harm would come to her! He would protect her at all costs. 

They could barely breath, as they stood on the base of the hill. The scent of the roses made them a little dizzy. Charlotte leaned down and tried to tear a piece of fabric off her trousers, and without thinking he knelt down next to her feet and with a jerk tore off a piece of it that Mary had sewn together. He could see a piece of white skin of her shin, but shook off the thought of running his finger over it. He tore the fabric in two pieces, held it out to her and the other over his mouth and nose.

Looking up the hill, the roses seemed to move slightly in the breeze. Slowly and carefully they climbed the little hill. Sidney felt his heart slamming against his rips and he was cold for fear about Charlotte. He knew she felt the same, as he heard her breath tremble. A moment later her fingers touched his and he took her hand in his. It was cold, but he felt stronger immediately and dared to look at her for a small moment. Their eyes get caught and a tiny wrinkle on the corner of her eye told him she was smiling beyond the fabric she held over her mouth and nose. Her gaze went back to the top of the hill and her eyes widened. Sidney followed her example, but moved in front of her to protect her from the sight. He didn’t know what but something told him, he needs to protect her from the glance of this creature. They couldn’t see it, but they knew it was sitting or hiding in the bush of roses, looking at them. Maybe shortly before it would attack them. 

Sidney was tense, the grip of his hand around hers became stronger, the muscles of his arms tightened and Charlotte noticed that he was somehow widening. His shoulders obscured her view of the rose bush a few feet in front of them and she would have liked to lean against his broad back. She felt protected but also infinitely tired. 

They waited. 

Nothing happened.

The wind continued to blow softly through the leaves, which slowly glided to the ground like the beating of wings. It was as if time had stopped. Behind the rose, it became brighter, as if a small sun were rising just behind the hill. Rose petals that were already lying on the moss-covered ground rose up to the sky in a dream-like dance. Floating towards the light. It was a beautiful spectacle, as if pink feathers were dancing in the air. Charlotte felt a little dizzy and leaned against Sidney's strong back. His grip on her hand tightened and she suddenly realised that the scent was clouding her mind. She pressed the cloth more firmly over her mouth and nose and squeezed his hand. 

"What do you want?" Sidney calmly asked the creature in the rosebush, as if he were speaking in a soothing way to an armed man who had gone mad.

Silence.

Nothing happened.

They waited. 

Then everything happened so fast and in the same moment, that they didn’t really understand what happened exactly. The creature jumped out of the bush, its mouth open like a dark black hole and shrieked so horribly that they both pressed their hands over their ears and fell down on their knees. But Sidney was alert, pulled Charlotte into his arms and held the cloth over her nose and mouth. Nothing would happen to her. He needs her to live! The painful sound vibrated through his body and it made him cry out loud, the scent of the roses made him light-headed but he couldn’t leave her, he needed her to be safe! 

Charlotte pressed against him, tried to figure out how to protect him, his cries were heart breaking and she pressed her hands against his ears so he wouldn’t hear it anymore. He did the same with her, she pressed her face against his chest and he his into her hair, trying to inhale her instead of the overwhelming scent of the roses. Suddenly he felt the roses were everywhere, as if they came closer around them, soon they would lock them up. Was this a dream or still reality?

"Charlotte." 

He breathed her name in her hair, his eyes lost their view, tears were running down his cheeks, the knowledge of loosing her broke him and he tried to get out of her embrace, so he would die, but she could live.

"Don’t you dare and leave me." She whimpered into his chest and clung to him. 

Charlotte wasn’t sure if it was all real or a strange experience because of the intoxicating scents of roses, but she knew she wouldn’t let him sacrifice himself for her. She would never let that happen. With all the strength she could gather did she hold on him and pressed her hands on his ears like he did with hers.

"I need you get out of here."   
She could hear him inside her head or more feel his words in her heart.

"Not without you." She answered and she knew he could feel her words too, even when she only whispered them.

"I don’t let you die!" He cried in her head and she shouted back in his.  
"I don’t leave you."  
"You need to."  
"Never." 

Then the shrill sound that had drowned out everything faded away. 

Slowly they released the ears of the other, held the cloth in front of their moth and nose and separated a few inches. Shortly their eyes locked before they looked up to the bush, which was suddenly on its place again. Maybe it was all a wired dream? 

But no. 

There it stood.

It was grey with very long, thin legs. The claw-like hands stretched out at its sides, as if it wanted to feel what they were, but from afar. 

Goosebumps spread across Charlotte's skin as she thought she recognised the claws as the needle-shaped killing weapon. She felt cold as her gaze moved upwards and oval-shaped black eyes stared at her. They looked like huge pupils. Instinctively she moved closer to Sidney who pulled her against him. As they slowly stood up, he pushed her behind him and was again the visual protection as before. As they stood there, they realised the creature was tall. Probably two or three heads taller than Sidney, she guessed. When it leaned a little closer as sniffing their scents, Charlotte felt even colder.

Sidney kept his battle-ready attitude to protect her no matter what. Charlotte knew that whether he loved her or not, she would forever do anything to save him as well. Nothing else mattered. Only him. This realisation suddenly calmed her and settled like a warming blanket around her shoulders. In this very moment he reached for her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. She heard him in her thoughts, as if he was speaking softly to her. 

But no. 

That was not his voice!

She panicked, looked at the creature in its now no longer grimaced face and realised it was communicating with them. When the creature seemed to sniff the air once more, it turned its head to the side, as if waiting for an answer.

Charlotte’s heart was hammering in her chest. She hadn’t understood the question, but apparently Sidney, she heard him whisper quietly. 

"If you love someone, you would die for that person." 

Her heart slipped into her stomach, raged around and then beat more calmly again, as if to show her that it could control the feelings at these words. Her breath hitched, she was about to think about these words but suddenly there was this voice again in her head, but she would never be able to describe this voice. It was more like the feeling of this voice, as if the words were written down in her mind.

"I wouldn't put myself in danger for anyone but him," she explained quietly, as if she were only saying it to Sidney's back and she saw his neck twitch briefly.

Another question arose in her mind.

"It's more than friendship when you care for someone," she explained and Sidney squeezed her fingers tighter.

Then there was a silence and they both tensed up, afraid that something was about to happen. Sidney squeezed her hand again and then released his fingers from hers. She immediately felt the painful loss.

"Why?" he asked softly, "Why did you take the people?"

An answer arose in their minds. Charlotte gasped as all the names and then the faces of the dead, missing and returned appeared in her mind's eye, as if she had true memories of these people she had never met in her life. But then came images of these people being tested, screaming in pain and succumbing to their injuries. A crushing sadness overcame her and she stumbled closer to Sidney. She wrapped her arms around his middle, pressed her face between his shoulder blade and put her left hand on his heart. He had to stay calm. 

"What have you done to the women, this writing?" she tried to distract the being so it wouldn't feel Sidney's tension.

The being's answer was quite clear. Her mind conjured up images of the young women meeting a handsome young man in the clearing. They seemed to be in love, laughing and kissing. Telling each other how they felt about each other.

"Words of love get under your skin," Sidney whispered and quoting one of the sayings they had found on the bodies.

"Words get under your skin, but not really. They only describe a feeling," Charlotte explained. "Like this wind that blows across your skin."

The creature jerked its huge head around and stared up at the trees.

"You're touching my heart." one of the young ladies said in their heads and the handsome, blond-haired man turned into the creature in front of them, piercing the young woman's heart with his long claw.

"Yes, that's just a feeling too, it's not really happening." sobbed Charlotte who could feel all the sadness of the creature and Sidney squeezed her hand that was over his heart.

"You mustn't do this any more." she begged the being, which in turn demanded an explanation.

"Explain love."

Charlotte couldn't find the words, how could she explain it? There were so many kinds of love. Parental love, love between friends. Love for this man she held in her arms, whose heart was beating stronger under her hand. 

"To love is to accept the other person with her strengths and in spite of her weaknesses." Sidney whispered.

"True love is unconditional and not demanding." added Charlotte.

Another question arose that made Charlotte blush, but she didn't move a millimetre away from Sidney.

"You want to make love physically to show the bond and devotion you feel for each other."

Charlotte swallowed, because she had the feeling that he had pressed her hand even harder on his beating heart when he said those words. Then they felt the sadness of the creature. It was so heavy that they couldn’t longer stand upright. It pressed them to the ground. 

"Give the others back, too." Charlotte begged in hope to save some more victims, who where abducted and tested for years.

"One of them is my brother." Sidney whispered and Charlotte tried to comfort him as she leaned heavier on him.

Then it became very quiet again. They both looked at the light that was slowly disappearing behind the rose bush and with it the floating blossoms of the roses that suddenly smelled so strong again that they both had trouble breathing. They held the forgotten cloths in front of their mouths and noses again and looked up.

But the creature had disappeared.

As if they woke up from a wired dream the stumbled up and run down the hill holding their hands tightly and run deeper into the forest to breath clearly again. They couldn’t really understand what happened, if it was all a dream or if they really just spoke to an extra-terrestrials. 

"I can not believe it!" Charlotte cried she was confused and it was all to much and she felt as if she had lived in a nightmare.

Sidney was stunned and had no words for what they experienced a moment ago and Charlotte felt he also felt the loss of his brother. She had seen him too in this pictures in her mind. She also felt his hope, that Tom was still alive and she couldn’t help it and embraced Sidney stormily. Her arms wrapped around his neck and he pressed her against him, full of emotions.

They stood there for a while, leaning against each other and his hands trailed a hot path up her spine. His thumbs began to paint small circles on the tender skin of her neck and her pulse throbbed dramatically underneath his touch. She withdrew and searched his eyes. Her face was full of wonder as she realised what Sidney was about to do. Slowly he lifted his eyes from hers, stroking her face with his gaze until it lingered on her lips, which opened slightly. Only then did he lift his eyes to hers. Charlotte drew in her breath sharply, but he felt it more than he heard it. Then he leaned closer. Her pulse beat madly against his thumb, which touched it tenderly. Just as at the fireplace, her breath tickled his lips, he almost felt her delicate lips on his. Her warmth wafted over his whole body as she leaned closer.

And finally their lips found each other.


	11. explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two have finally found each other. Although they are happy, they sense that something dark is close...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now the penultimate chapter of this little story and I hope I could clarify the last questions....
> 
> Warning: there will be an explanation about how humans examine animals, that part is short but not for everyone, so please skip the part, if you don't want to read it.

Soft. Very soft, Charlotte felt the gentle pressure of his lips on hers. They were as if glued together. Warmth seeped from there through her whole body. Like a rose blossom slowly unfolding in the morning, they released each other for a tiny moment, lingered, touching each other’s lips, unable to separate. Before they melted into each other again. Slowly his lips tugged at her upper lip and the tingling crawled down her body. It touched her in her heart, which was hammering wildly in her chest. His lips nibbled at hers and his breath tickled in her mouth. 

Sidney broke away from her, he wasn’t allowed to forget himself. Even though there was nothing more vital than feeling her, he had to restrain himself. But she wouldn't let him go. His heart leapt as her lips followed and gently snapped at his. Once more he gave in and sipped at hers. She opened them slightly and greedily sucked in the air and he her lower lip into his mouth. Gasp. They didn't move. He knew he had to give her times to get used to the feelings that were now taking over. He felt her pulling hard on the collar of his coat. As his tongue brushed her lip without his will, they both drew in their breath. How could he forget himself like that? Slowly he withdrew, pressed once more on her softness, and finally broke away. But not far. His lips brushed her cheek, inhaling the scent of her cold skin. Sidney pressed his face to hers and Charlotte did the same. Cheek to cheek they stood there, calm, while the storm raged inside them. A rush. The feelings like the leaves swirling around and branches falling down during a storm and yet they were each other's anchored roots. The solid oak in the deadly black night.

She outshined his surroundings. Sidney felt only Charlotte and his feelings for her. The silky hair between his fingers. Her cool cheek, the scent of soap and spruce. The rough fabric of her coat under his hand on her back. Her small body pressed against his solid one, as if he wanted her to crawl inside him so he would never lose her. Charlotte seemed to understand him better as his heart told her his inner thoughts. She leaned even heavier to him and crawled her fingers firmly in the fabric of his coat. 

Hearing her heart rustle in her head, she knew the answer to the question of the creature. This was love. To stay with him, in the middle of the empty forest, two lonely hearts, melted together in one, in one word. Together. A sob escaped her, without even having been able to suppress it.

Concerned he bent down, searching her face, had he gone too far? As their eyes met, he knew, it was fine. She was fine. It felt incredible to see the knowledge in her eyes. Tears glittered in them, the light smile on her lips and he nodded. He nodded to all of this. The future he found in her gaze. Slowly his hand in her hair came to rest on her cheek, stroking it slowly with his thumb. She leaned in his touch and closed her eyes to embrace this feeling, the warmth, which calmed her. 

They got lost for a moment. 

The crack of a branch made them both turn around and look for the creature. Sidney instinctively pushed Charlotte behind him and his eyes darted around to spot the danger. But the creature had still disappeared. A small part of Charlotte's realistic mind suddenly had doubts about whether it had really happened. Maybe they had just been dazed by the roses and had imagined it all. But the creature's pain when it realised what it had done had been real. It had been such unbearable pain that her heart clenched just at the memory. She felt Sidney's hand on hers and he drew little circles on her wrist, the wrist with the string that had already told him what she was feeling. Yet she was afraid of what now lay unspoken between them. 

A big question mark seemed to buzz in her mind as their eyes met and Sidney knew they had to talk. But not here. He had the strange feeling they were being watched and he wanted to get her away from here. An inner restlessness told him the danger was not over. Or more, something dark was still waiting for them. Another crack finally woke him from the spell she had cast on him and he reached out, took her hand tighter and pulled her behind him.

"We should go."  
"But we need to take samples, there might be traces..."  
"Yes but not alone, we should wait for the others." Sidney took out his pocket watch and wondered why the lone gunmen were not there yet.

They walked hastily back to the hill, but avoided to get to close as they heard another crack and the voices of the three they have waited for.

"We thought you'd be here already."  
"And were you able to climb Love Hill together?" asked Crowe with a grin, and Babington nudged him in the side and whispered half aloud. 

"Stop embarrassing them."

"Yes, and you won't believe what we've experienced!" Charlotte exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Well, are you really going to tell us?" asked Crowe with a grin, but Charlotte didn't understand his ambiguity and looked at him in question before Sidney tried to put into words what they had experienced on the hill.

"Are you really trying to tell us that this being, an extra-terrestrial, communicated with you in your heads?" asked Denham in amazement, staring at the two of them and coming quite close, as if to make sure they weren't drunk.

"The question is why is it asking you two about love?" remarked Crowe smirking and Charlotte blushed, but he only made a note in his papers as if he hadn’t asked this question and continued with the next.

"So this creature can transform its form to a good looking young man, who had tried to seduce the women here?"

Charlotte took in a sharp breath and Sidney explained their theory to the three, that this was the only way this creature was able to bring this women here, to tests its theory.

"Love gets under the skin?" Babington asked seriously after Sidney’s explanation and the others nodded in agreement.

"So this creatures wanted to know what love is? That's why they've been abducting, testing and killing people for decades?" Denham asked, loading the rifle he wore around his shoulder.

"We don't think the killing was planned," said Sidney.  
"But what kind of horrible creatures are they, that do this?" cried Babington, running a hand through his hair.  
"They're just not human," Crowe shrugged, "they have no moral views or feelings."

"We felt the creature's pain," Sidney said "those feelings were real."

"Still a long way from what humans would do." Denham shouted, passing another gun to Crowe.

"That's exactly what humans do," explained Charlotte, "when humans discover a new species or want to better understand a known one, that's exactly what we do."

Astonished, the men looked at her and as she listed what had already been done in the name of science, they became more and more concerned.

"We capture animals, take them away from their pack, their family, so to speak, run tests on them, torture them to find out their pain thresholds, skin them alive, dissect them."

Charlotte took a short breath, "Sometimes they're released back into the wild to see if they'll be taken back by their pack."

"At best, scientists just watch them, what they eat, how they hunt..." Sidney continued.

"How they reproduce." Crowe interrupted him, which finally earned him such a dangerous look from Sidney that Charlotte thought he would hit him at any moment.

Her thoughts drifted off for a moment. Her knowledge of this subject, which she had learned in her medical studies, had of course nothing to do with the feelings one experienced. And the poems and wisdom on the bodies of the dead women suggested, that it was something soul changing, to make love physically to someone you love. She was so caught up in her thoughts that for a moment she didn't really notice her surroundings, but suddenly she was standing at the foot of the hill and Sidney tied the cloth that was supposed to keep her from inhaling the numbing scent, at the back of her head. And when his fingers lingered on her neck for a moment too long did Charlotte know that what had happened between them was also a new reality. A new and exciting one and that she was slowly about to understand what it meant, or would mean in the future. But not now, she pushed the thoughts aside and was about to climb the hill again, when Sidney held her hand and tugged her back to him.

"We need to talk as soon as we get out of here."

The look that bored deep into her soul inflamed her insides and she felt her skin prickle. She was only able to nod as he leaned closer and pressed his forehead to hers as if they were alone. Yes, this was now her new truth and Charlotte's heart leapt at the thought of later.

But ‘later’, took a few more hours. They examined the ground around the rose bush and the hill. Where the light had appeared, the ground was very simple forest soil nothing indicated anything. Unlike among the roses, where Charlotte, being the smallest, crawled in, careful not to be pricked by the huge thorns. There she found a three-tentacle imprint that suggested the creature's foot. She measured it, wrote everything down and tried to draw it as best she could.

She flipped back a few pages in her notebook to see how Sidney had drawn, so she could try to somehow match it, and tears welled in her eyes when she found the picture he had painted of her. She never thought anyone could see her like this. Not even in her most secret vain moments would she see herself as he had portrayed her. Beautiful. With a peaceful expression on her face, smiling, although she certainly hadn't smiled in the situation it depicted. 

"Are you all right, what's taking so long?" he asked nervously from outside the bush and she hurried to get back to him.

After they had visited the crater once more and made the last drawings, they set off on their way home. It was already dawn and Charlotte was now feeling the exhausting days and sleepless nights in her bones. She was so tired that she hardly had the strength to pull herself onto the horse and climbed onto a fallen tree trunk to get up better. Suddenly she felt his presence behind her. She felt so warm even before he touched her and gasped as he grabbed her thigh and pushed her up so she could slide into the saddle. No one had ever touched her on that part of her body before, even though it was through several layers of clothing, she felt his handprint on her skin as if it were red-hot iron burning into her flesh. He squeezed her hand and their eyes locked for a moment before he too went to his horse and they rode home to Sanditon.

As soon as the arrived and their horses were led away, Mary asked Charlotte to arrange for her to collect the rest of her belongings from Mrs Griffith so that she could join and stay with them at Trafalgar House.

"I'd rather go myself because of the papers I have there." 

Charlotte said, looking up at Sidney, who clenched his jaw, thinking briefly of the report she should have sent to London, but if she had, she hadn't shown it to him.

Perhaps he was like herself, Charlotte thought to herself as she kept glancing up at him, eager to be alone on one side and fearful of what might happen if they were, on the other. And her cheeks burned all the way to Mrs Griffith's lodgings as she thought about the possibilities. Her mind once again reeling, she interpreted Sidney's silence in a sudden burst of uncertainty that he might be concerned about her moving to Trafalgar House.

"Don't you want it?"

Her shaky voice brought him out of his dull thoughts and her uncertain gaze melted his heart as he looked at her.

"That I come to you I mean.” She continued and her look almost made him forget where they were and he almost pulled her to him, but he held back.

"Charlotte, I'd rather have this conversation somewhere else," he said seriously and Charlotte's heart tightened, it didn't sound good.

"Hey," he touched her on the arm when he saw she was thinking too much again, and as they walked along he leaned a little closer, "anything I have to say on the subject should wait until we're alone."

Now her heart rumbled around in her chest and she suddenly had the urge to walk faster. Sidney struggled to keep up with her and only caught up with her at the front door. As soon as they were inside the building, she stared at him nervously, barely able to stand still, but before she could slay him with questions, he leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips.

"Of course I want you to come with me," their eyes locked and Charlotte struggled to breathe as he tenderly stroked her cheek.  
"I don't want you to leave ever again."

Their eyes melted together and Charlotte felt the pull towards him, as they heard people screaming on the streets. 

Sighing, he opened the door and they stepped out again. People were calling for a doctor and the two ran in the same direction as everyone else. To the other side to the already completed terraces. People jumped apart as the two came running and just a minimal moment Charlotte noticed a certain look resting on Sidney and in the next moment Babington came running towards them. 

"Stay there!" he shouted and held Sidney without warning.

Charlotte kept running and fell to the ground next to the person, who lay on the ground. She knew who it was, but she couldn't think about it. She had to block everything out, put it all out of her mind. 

Emptiness. 

Charlotte bent over the lifeless body, saw at a glance that the hands were badly damaged, she would have to set several fingers again. She felt for a pulse, but found none. Leaning closer to the man's face to feel if he was still breathing, she recognised his face was swollen and covered with small scars and injuries. The rings under his eyes and the eyelids were so dark that in the sparse light of the streets they looked like the giant eyes of the creature in the forest.

In the moment she let her fingers run over his neck, searching for his pulse, she felt Sidney falling on his knees next to her. He was shouting the name of his brother he had lost, trying to pull on him, touching his face. His own face twisted in pain, unable to hear what the lone gunmen tried to tell him. 

"Sidney!" she tried, but he didn’t hear her.

Charlotte tried again, but only when she touched his tear-stained face with light fingers he looked her in the eyes, bracing himself for the worst, and it almost broke her heart to see him like this. 

She took a big breath and told him the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger...


	12. the darkest hour is before dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What truth does Charlotte want to tell Sidney?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear lovely readers,  
> this story is finished now with a much longer last chapter and I'm very happy you have joined me on this 'fantastic' journey. It was fun and I enjoyed it very much, and of course also the memory lane to my old and everlasting love The X-files. 
> 
> quotes: Those who know the episode, “Chinga”, written by Stephen King for the 10th episode of the 5th season of the X-files, may remember a phone call in which Scully lists possible supernatural scenarios without her usual scepticism and Mulder completely amazed, asked a certain question…  
> The other famous quote is from the episode “Folie a deux” 19th episode of the same season. Of course, adapted to the "realities" of the fictional 1820 this story is set in. Furthermore there are shape-shifters like in several seasons, even if mine is different to them...
> 
> Sorry for the purists, I let them do things which I usually don't let them do in this state of their relationship in a Regency story, but I thought it was what they needed. If you don't like this kind of stuff, even when it is of course not explizit, please skip the last part.
> 
> Thank you for all your support and love for this story!

"He is alive!" 

The coldness in his chest was filled with the warmth of her voice. Sidney saw the truth in her eyes. He grabbed her arms and leaned closer, but Charlotte pushed him away.

"Let me do my work."

Then she shouted orders in a domineering tone and Sidney followed her instructions in a state of numbness. He couldn't believe it. All that had happened and now he had Tom back and although it didn't look like it, he was alive. 

"We have to hurry!" Charlotte shouted and Sidney admired her for her rationality. 

She kept a cool head, showed almost no emotion, only those who had watched her long enough knew that that little crease between her eyebrows and the little glint of fear in her eyes showed that he was not out of the woods. Tom's life was hanging by a thin string, Sidney knew that, even though she hadn't told him. He felt it. Tom felt very light in his arms as he and his friends carried him to Trafalgar House. Babington broke away and ran forward to tell Mary. 

As they burst through the door, Charlotte shouted more orders as if she were a commander of a military unit, and best of all, everyone did what she wanted immediately. She didn't let Mary's crying distract her either, but continued to hold Tom's head gently until he was lying on the dining table. She ran to her bag and rummaged in it, calling for hot water, garlic, and cloths. Then she leaned Tom's head into the back of his neck, opened his mouth and took out a small bunch of rose petals with a pair of tweezers. She worked calmly and precisely and although the Lone gunmen were running around the room and Mary was screaming like mad, Sidney only had eyes for Charlotte. He watched her as if spellbound as she did her work. It all became very quiet, every noise banished to the background. The two fingers that held the tweezers, the hand that held Tom’s head firmly and his mouth open with strength. Her long eyelashes that fluttered in rhythm with his own breathe. The one stubborn strand of curly hair that fell into her forehead and made her twitch once, as it disturbed her, but she did not interrupt her work. 

Tom had to breathe, breathe!

Sidney felt as if he was back in the forest, the moment the rose petals had floated upwards, in that gentle rhythm like in a dream. His hand reached for the strand on her face and stroked it behind her ear so that she could see well. His fingertips stroked her face and suddenly he felt very light.

Tom was back. He was alive. She would do anything to help him. So he had to do the same!

Suddenly all the noises were back. Loud and overpowering. Sidney perceived everything at once, as if he had crawled up from a dreamlike state.

"What do you need?" he then shouted and was immediately in action.  
"Hold the mouth open." And he did as she said.

Now everything went much faster, as if everything was passing him by at an uncanny speed, like the landscape when he galloped his horse against the wind. Sidney tried not to be distracted by Tom's appearance, he held his mouth open with the little scars around it, and Charlotte took out one flower after another. Then she called for light, took this eyeglass out of her bag, looked into his mouth and leaned her ear over his face. Her fingers stroked Tom's forehead.

"Mary, come here!"

She put her hands to Mary's face and spoke urgently to her. 

"You make sure there's always a damp cloth on his forehead."

Mary nodded and Sidney pushed a chair towards his sister-in-law. Then he began to remove his brother's shirt, as Charlotte had told him, while she attended to Tom’s right hand. His fingers looked as if they had been crushed. Charlotte examined them and knew that if he were ever going to be able to use his hand again, she would have to put five fingers back in place. She started with that.

The cracking sound was like a loud crash and the room fell silent as Tom groaned. Mary started crying again and kept stroking her husband's face. She couldn't believe he was back.

Charlotte's soul ached at the patient's pain-wracked moans, but she had to block out the feelings. All the feelings. That he was in a lot of pain when she set the bones in his left arm, that she had to save him. That he was the long-lost brother. Mary's husband. None of that mattered, just his life. She had already noticed all the visible injuries and stored them in the catalogue in her head. His face was swollen, apparently from great force, although it did not look like injuries from a fight. Next to his mouth were many small scars, they looked older and healed. The dislocated fingers, broken bones in his hands, arms and legs looked more like he had fallen from a great height. Charlotte straightened the bones. It was strenuous and exhausting work. Sidney helped her as best he could. She made splints out of narrow wooden boards and bandages, and rubbed the open fracture on his shin with a smelly tincture before setting the bones there too. Then she stitched up the gaping wound and Tom's moan became a low whimper before he fell back into unconsciousness.

Time passed, the clock ticked insistently in the background. Candles were renewed. But Charlotte continued to work without interruption until Sidney grabbed her by the arm and told her to take a little break. But she pulled away, talking something about broken ribs and inflammation. Sidney watched her as she examined Tom's stomach and then put a thin blanket over it as if she were putting a child to bed. 

"Take the men out, she needs time alone with him," she said gently to Sidney, avoiding looking him in the eye.

He took his friends out, Crowe and Denham went directly into the drawing room, filled six glasses with whiskey and Babington asked one of the servants in the kitchen for something to eat. Sidney had a bad feeling. Why did Charlotte want them all out of the room? What had she discovered that they were all not allowed to see? Did she give Mary time alone with Tom so she could say goodbye to him? Why wasn't he allowed to be with his brother?

Nervous, he paced in front of the closed door, undecided whether he should just go in or follow Charlotte's instructions. He couldn't think any more. Everything was crashing down on him again. All the feelings of loss, love, the fear, the happiness, the grief that ached in his chest. He never wanted to experience that again and he knew he wouldn't be able to stand it any longer, grabbed the doorknob in the same moment as Charlotte pulled the door open. He tried to look past her and saw Mary at Tom's side, the not so badly hurt hand in hers, and a hand on his face. She smiled, that was a good sign, wasn't it?

"Yes." Charlotte smiled gently at him, apparently he had asked the question aloud.

"What…?"

"I had to ask her to examine.. erm.. Certain areas of his body to see if they... have always looked like this and if there was anything that seemed unusual to her besides the obvious injuries. Two ribs are broken, but from what I can feel, and see from the outside, no organs are injured. The ulna is broken, but smooth. The right metacarpal is broken, the dislocated fingers are bandaged and I didn't know if there might be older injuries and I didn't know if you knew either, so she should...."

She was talking like a waterfall and Sidney couldn't help it, he took her face in both hands, he loved her even more for all her knowledge.

"I need your help, there are two longer scars which look like words on the inside of his left arm and it looks like it's not from the inside like on the other victims, but from the outside and the writing looks like it was written by a child, maybe you did this when..."

"Marry me."

He waited until she silenced and her eyes locked with his.

"Yes, but that's not helpful, Sidney, I mean..."

"Marry me, now?" He grinned because then he finally got her attention.

"Yes sure, but it's the middle of the night and my parents..."

Warmth. 

His mouth rested on hers, it was so simple. He felt her soften under the touch of his lips. Charlotte leaned against him and knew that he would replenish her exhaustion with his strength, because she still had to...

"Tomorrow, then?" he grinned again and she gasped as if to protest, but by then he had captured her lips again.

"Sidney!" she leaned away from him, breathing heavily, and a smile played around her lips.  
"If you always kiss me before I’m able to say something, you'll never get an answer."

"You've already said yes. Twice."

He admitted smiling and kissed her again, but this time he didn't hold back and gripped her head tighter, letting one hand trail down her back so he could pull her flat against him. Only when her arms wrapped around his neck did his pounding heart calm and they both sighed as their lips parted to breath. As Sidney leaned back and began to speak, Charlotte opened her eyes and slowly lifted her gaze.

"I love you." His voice was trembling and his face was overflowing with emotions.  
"It’s you who gets under my skin," he nodded, slightly smiling and continued with an averted version of Sappo's wisdoms "it’s you, who sets me on fire, who I desire and crave."

Charlotte gasped, nodded, tears prickled her eyes. She let her hands fly over his face, these strong hands so delicate brushing tenderly over his stubble. Smirking she answered,

"You don’t need to convince me, I said already yes… twice." 

Relieved, the two laughed for a small moment and pulled each other into their arms, holding tightly for a moment. Then they heard Tom moan and Sidney looked to him worried. 

"Go." She said, but he took her hand and pulled her along with him.

Tom opened his heavy eyes and sought his brother's gaze. There were tears in them, from the pain and loss of what had been his true life for the last ten years. But also the joy of seeing him again.

"Thank you, brother." Tom moaned softly, "Your love saved me."

Mary sobbed out, but Tom was too weak to explain it to her. He had to tell Sidney first, he would know what to do. 

"They’re not evil. They just… don’t understand… love." his voice broke, but he struggled to say more.

"I know we've met one," Sidney explained and his brother's swollen eyes widened a little more.

"It’s a shape-shifter," he coughed briefly and groaned in pain, trying to reach for his ribs but his arm hurt even more. "It can be a woman and a man."

"We know, we've been communicating with it." 

Tom froze, and then tears ran down his cheeks as he whispered.  
"It's the most wonderful thing I've ever experienced." 

"What exactly..." began Sidney's question, but his brother interrupted him.  
"It built the city in my head, I know how everything will look when it’s finished...,” he almost sounded like the old enthusiastic Tom who only had Sanditon in his head.

"Tom, but..."  
"They understood my love for the town," he said strained, "only the love... the real love..."  
His eyes fluttered shut and Mary gave another loud sob before Charlotte reassured her that Tom was only asleep.

"He needs rest so he can recover," she said softly and asked Mary to rest too, assuring her that she would stay with him.

It was only after another half hour, when it was almost dawn outside, that Mary was persuaded and Sidney ordered tea for Charlotte. He saw that she was completely exhausted, but stubborn as she was, she could not be persuaded to rest, too. It wasn't until the tea came that she sat down and Sidney sat next to her. He watched her drink a little and then he pulled her into his arms. He couldn't tell her in words how full his heart was, what seemed to beat only for her in this moment. Charlotte laid her head over it and he rocked her back and forth, stroking her hair gently. The adrenaline in her veins and the tension of the responsibility to save a life slowly eased and she leaned more heavily against him. And he was so overjoyed that she was in his arms. That Tom was back, that they had met the creature together. That they loved each other. So much had happened, they would need days to process it all.

Slowly the day came to life. Outside the birds were chirping and Sidney felt as if he had dozed off for a brief moment. He startled up and felt Charlotte had fallen asleep lying against his chest. He ran light fingers over her hair and face to her neck and she mumbled his name in her sleep. 

"You are my love."

His heart was about to explode by her words and he began to cry. He cried without restraint.  
All the truths had come together at this single day.

After Mary came back into the dining room to check on Tom, Sidney carried Charlotte up to the guest room and laid her on the bed. He knelt beside her and stroked her face, resting his forehead against hers. He knew she needed to rest, nodded and was about to get up when she reached for his hand and murmured barely audibly.

"Stay."

A hot glow ran through him that for a moment he couldn't breathe. That she didn't want to let him go was so wonderful. But this time he had to be the sensible one.

"Don't think so much." she grumbled into the pillow and tugged at his hand.  
"But Charlotte, we..."  
"We get married soon, all is well." But before he could say anything back, she had fallen asleep again.

It took her the rest of the day to forgive him for leaving the room after a while, only because he had convinced her that he had been with Tom till she woke up again and joined them in the early afternoon. Charlotte suddenly did no longer care about what was unseemly, she wanted him around. All the time. It was like a deep instruction in her bones. A knowledge that had been hidden and now had come to the surface of her knowledge again. It was important to feel him close, it was like the need to breath.

That is why she persuaded the lone gunmen to stay with Tom and Mary as Sidney rode back into the forest at the morning of the following day. Tom had told them in one of his few moments awake, that they should thank the creatures for his live. A friendship with these beings was certainly better than living in eternal fear that they might continue their experiments. Tom was sure that the other abductees were also brought back. So there was hardly any time left before the extra-terrestrials would leave this place to drop people off at their original locations, as they had done with him. The lone gunmen were working on a list of this probable drop-off days, so that help could then be given immediately to the injured.

With the pressure to reach the creatures in the forest before they might be offended and plan another experiment, the two rode into the forest of Old Town. 

As soon as they jumped off their horses they ran through the forest, hoping not to be late, but the sky above the crater was already turning in strange intense colours. They ran closer and Sidney took Charlotte's hand, just as the earth shook and they were lifted up in a slow dance of the wind, just like the roses days before. The sky, which had just shone above them in the pastel tones of the morning, turned into orange and blood-red clouds, interspersed with dark blue clouds that became the shadows of the trees. A loud scrape sounded as the earth cracked open beneath them, into whose maw they would have plunged had they not been hovering above the things. Clinging to each other like swirling leaves in the wind. They were unable to speak and yet they were full of gratitude, even if for another moment they felt the deep sadness of the being, which deeply regretted the accidental death of the victims and also the farewell of this place. They floated for another moment in the incomprehensible play of colours, before they fell to the ground groaning loudly. 

They looked towards the crater as they clung to each other, lying in the dirt. A flicker rose up and a sound like rushing water. They tried to focus their gaze, and then saw the outline as if through thick glass. Small lights, like from thousands of candles, flickered in the structure, matching its colour to the still discoloured sky. It stopped. For a long moment. Hovering over them. But they were not afraid. They knew it was a goodbye and both felt its pain in their eyes and hearts before there was a sucking sound and for a millisecond the thing, the air carriage or ship-like craft became visible. Before it disappeared in the colourful sky, like the afterglow of the flame of an extinguished candle. 

Silence stretched out and they needed one more hour to gather themselves till they were able to return to Trafalgar House.

Just after they arrived at home and had told the others what had happened, next to the sleeping Tom, Sidney said the others to leave and after Mary stayed with Tom all the time, the two were alone in the study a few minutes later, after the lone gunmen left. Sidney kissed her cheek, while Charlotte was trying to apply a new pain-relieving cure for Tom. One of the servants knocked on the door and entered shortly afterwards with an urgent message for Charlotte.

"Oh, damn!" she exclaimed as she had opened the letter, and shocked at her own choice of words, she put her hand over her mouth.

"What's wrong?" asked Sidney, slightly amused.  
"It's the first time I've ever disobeyed an order."  
"Excuse me?"  
"I didn't send the report." she bit her lip and turned pale.  
"Oh." Sidney had forgotten all about that.  
"I wanted you to read it first and then I got a little... distracted."

Her cheeks flushed and Sidney could imagine what had distracted her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder to read the letter she was holding from their mutual boss Robert Plant.

"Now you're witnessing my shame, too." she giggled, "It’s really the first time."

"I'm often present when you experience things for the first time." he murmured in her hair and kissed her neck.  
"Or have you cursed before?" his teasing yet very thrilling tone left her breathless.

"No, Mr Parker."

"Your first living… naked man." Both their fingers clawed harder into the other's clothes.  
"Yes." she breathed heavily.  
"Your first crop circle, which was not a crop circle but an earth pattern."  
"My first and hopefully last extra-terrestrial being."

Sidney nodded with a serious expression on his face and said.  
"Your first kiss." his voice got even darker as he let his nose run over the sensitive skin on her neck, kissing the spot under her ear.

"That too." she leaned her face closer to him, she wanted to be kissed but asked then.  
"What else did I saw the first time?"

"Today? " He pretended he had to think "A man madly in love."

He turned her around and pointed to himself and cheekily she grinned at him.  
"Why do you think this is new to me?"

Sidney froze, he had been so sure that this all was new to her, the jealousy seized him, while he tried to find the right words.

"I have been seeing you for much longer." she laughed and he grabbed her firmer.  
"Do you want to learn something new now?"

"What?" her breath came in waves, she would she wished they would finally take the next step, even though their hasty wedding would not take place until the end of next week.

"Come here." He tugged here even closer, so every curve was pressed against his body.

Charlotte closed her eyes and opened her lips slightly, expecting him to kiss her, but he didn’t. After a moment she opened her eyes again and asked in a husky voice. 

"What’s is it?"  
"Sometimes waiting can also be nice." He smiled this enchanting smile and opened his mouth in surprise at her answer.

"I don’t want to wait." 

She pressed her lips to his, eagerly and hungry and he sighed softly into her mouth as he deepened the kiss and their tongues met for the first time. She pulled away.

"Sidney!" her cheeks flushed, her eyes wide and darken as he picked her up and carried her up the stairs.

No sooner had Sidney closed the door of her room, than he pulled Charlotte to him, he trailed tender kisses across her face and pressed himself against her. She reached between them both and began to undo the buttons of his west. When she had opened them all, she pushed it from his shoulders. His arms wrapped around her waist and her arms closed so tightly around his neck that he could hardly breathe. He lifted her up. Her chest pressed against his, her legs just hanging down. And as he pressed her against the wall next to the door, he pulled one of her legs over his hip. She gasped and he chuckled in the skin of her neck. Warm soft kisses followed down her neck, lingered on her cleavage and she whimpered softly as he pressed his hips tighter against hers. His big strong hands slipped up and down her back and she just wanted to lose herself in the sensation of his love. To catch their breath, they let go of each other for a moment and their eyes locked, as he put her down on her feet. The fire in the fireplace conjured a golden light around them and without talking he started to loosen his tie. Their eyes remained fixed on each other the whole time. Charlotte reached for him and unbuttoned his shirt. 

There was no hurry. Only when she reached for the shirt to tug it out of his breeches, did he grab her firmer and kissed her passionately. Moaning, she broke away from him to pull his shirt over his head and let her gaze wander over his shapely chest. With tender fingers she stroked him and followed every little curve of his muscles. Her face was at the height of his chest and she couldn't help but kiss him over his heart. Sidney sucked in the air, his heart jumped wildly in his chest. The love he felt for her almost moved him to tears, but they need to calm down. 

"Charlotte, let's not rush it, we can wait."

"You're the one, my husband, even if it's not official yet." She whispered into his skin.

His strong hands grasped her face and he looked for her gaze. The love shone from her eyes and he needed to tell her.

"You’re my wife, my one in two billion." They nodded to each other.

Slowly, oh so damn slowly he let his lips find hers again. His tongue stroked gently over her lips until she panted his name as the unknown lust overwhelmed her. The passion burned through all her senses and she just wanted to feel him. Sidney felt the same way and before he could even think a clear thought, he pulled her to the bed.

"Oh." 

Charlotte sighed as he stood behind her and began to undo the buttons of her dress. He kissed her neck, shoulder blades, trailed kisses up her spine, till he could burry is face in her hair as he pushed the corset off her body. She turned around in his embrace and pulled off her underdress. It slid down her body and his mouth became dry, as she stood before him so close. He let his hands slide over the soft fabric of her shift and froze as she slowly loosened the bow. The urge to touch her was so overwhelming that he gave in and she gasped for air as he pressed her firmly against him and kissed her strongly. Charlotte knew there was no holding back now. The next moment she felt the mattress underneath her and the emotions overwhelmed her. The kisses became wilder and the urge to feel him, got even more intense. 

Sidney kissed her slowly, every inch of her burning skin. Caressing her tenderly. She could feel him through the fabric of his breeches, as he pressed closer to her and the need to see him again, she tugged at his breeches until he pulled them off. 

"Oh." was all she could say and she was surprised how it felt to caress him and somehow proud to see and hear what it does to him. 

"Charlotte." 

He moaned and they became calm again, eyes locked. His skin shimmered golden in the firelight and his eyes glowed like the burning wood in the fireplace. They didn't need any further words, they spoke everything with their eyes. Sidney let his fingers go on the journey over her body. Her face, her neck. Her collarbones. He moved to her stomach and caressed her hips. Kissing every place she offered him but he hesitated briefly before kissing her legs until she trembled and twitched. 

"Sidney?"  
"Hmm." 

Sidney slowly let his lips wander up to her shoulder. They looked at each other for a moment and she smiled as he reached into her hair and pulled her closer. He turned on his back and took her with him. She looked at him questioningly, but he just smiled, pulled her a little higher and silently showed her what could happen if she wanted it to happen. Charlotte kissed him and they were both very soft and like melted wax. They had the feeling as if everything was floating, as if they were back at the Love Hill and the roses. 

She clutched his face as her eyes locked with his, she wanted to feel him everywhere, wanted to know what the wisdom was talking about.

‘In the crooks of your body, I find my religion.’

Sidney held her close and gave her strength as her body briefly struggled against the unknown. But they breathed in unison again as she moved slowly, and as they melted together, they both realised... 

To be joined in love was the truth.


End file.
